BLESSING IN SUBMISSION...

In the eight years that I have been married I have learned so much from the Lord about myself and my ways that I felt it would be a good share. You see, I have known the Lord my whole life – but I back slid really badly during and after high-school and it was only after I was married, that I realized that I could no longer hear or feel God in my life – though He had always been there, it was me who had turned away from Him and I felt a huge yearning and loss right in the middle of my heart. Oh how it hurt to know that I had lost my dearest friend, my Father, the only one who had always been there for me. How my heart broke when I realized that I had turned my back on the only one who loves me unconditionally.
And I decided it was time to turn back to Jesus, so I began to hack back through all the thorny sins that had entangled themselves around my heart and I cut away at each one and once I had the forgiveness of Jesus and His hand finally caught mine through my struggling and pushing and reaching, did my heart find rest. He pulled me to His chest and held me so close; He whispered and asked me if I knew how much He loved me. He cleaned away all the sin that taken root in my heart and He told me I was His child, forgiven and washed clean by His blood and that He was so happy that I had returned to Him at last.
Since that day I have again experienced the wonderful presence of Jesus in my life, and I will live my life in a way that is pleasing only to my savior, my Precious Jesus. I want to be a servant and I take comfort in knowing that He loves me unconditionally and never EVER recalls nor remembers past and forgiven sins. My Jesus loves me and He is always with me and my life will be empty and meaningless without Him. I am living for Him, for Jesus, and I cannot wait for the day that I get to see His beautiful face and hear His voice when He says “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
One thing I have struggled with almost endlessly since then is that fact that my husband and I are unequally yoked, I had never considered this before – but now that I had learned so much more from the Word, I realized that this could be a huge problem – and was for many couples. I began to pray for my husband’s salvation. I wanted so badly for him to come to know the Lord intimately and personally the way that I know Him. But one day God rebuked me gently and showed me that I was praying and wanting his salvation for all the wrong reasons. I was wanting it for me, cause then my life would be easier and happier. God showed me that He has His own plans and timing and that we should pray for others to be saved for Christ – not for us. For His glory and to do His work, not to for our own gain. Boy was that ever a tough lesson – but I accepted what God was showing me and I began to change my way of thinking and of praying for my Husband. I know he will come to know the lord – and I know that he will be used so mightily by God, but I know now too that God’s timing is perfect, and things will happen in and when He has planned it. Another thing I had to learn was the lesson of submission. I had a friend who used to tell me “Tjomma, (My friend), there is blessing in submission” and man did I ever get mad at her every time she said that!! But it began a process in me of discovering that the Bible says we as women need to submit to our husbands and be obedient to them – unless it is sin. Our husbands are the leaders of our homes and we need to show them the correct amount of respect and love to make them see that they are the leaders. I never just go where I want to go, or do what I want to do – I always check with my husband first. I run everything I want to do by him first because that’s how it should be done and by doing it that way I get his support too. He has never stood in my way of going to church or to prayer meetings and he has no problem with me giving my offerings either and he is letting me go on the LTT (leadership training time) in September to Bloemfontein. There truly is blessing in submission – and I have learned that the hard way too, I have so much within me that God is dealing with and He has just taught me that I need to take my eyes off my husbands life and focus them in Him – I need to stop worrying and hand it over to God. That is not easy as a wife and a mother running a household and submitting to God and my husband is not an easy thing to do at all – but I am learning and growing as I go.

I have a wonderful husband who loves me – and tells me and shows me that he loves me. He is supportive and strong and protective, with him I always feel safe. He is funny and attractive and people are drawn to him wherever we go. I am happy that I married him and I can see a great calling and blessing on his life. I love him dearly – and if it weren’t for him, I would never have learned the things I have learned. God uses everyone and each situation to grow us – I am just really blessed that He is using my husband to grow me, to teach me humility, love and respect. It’s like – ok God I finally get what you are doing – and then BAM! He shows me something else that I need to fix in my heart.

This was inspired by a post from one lady’s blog (I am sure you know who you are) – cause I know how hard it can be. I remember a point when I was on the verge of quitting and I called out to God through my tears and asked Him what did He want me to do – Where was I to go from there? How was I to carry on? And He made it clear that leaving was not an option. Satan loves nothing more than a failed marriage – but God hates divorce! It is not His plan for us. Don’t let satan get another victory, don’t let him get the better of you, hang on to Jesus and cry out to Him. Just don’t give up. I have learned to rely on God as my “husband” spiritually in many ways where my husband does not yet (note I say YET) meet me where I am. But I never stop praying and believing that he will one day. And man – what a day that will be!!!!

I realise this is a long read, but I really felt it was necessary. That there is a need out there.
God Bless and thank you for reading...