Has God ever convicted you about the wrongs you have done to others in your past? Well, he did convict me. Not so long ago either. I had been carrying around really heavy burdens of guilt and shame of things I had done to people in my life. Things that I had asked God to forgive me for – but that I needed to forgive myself for too.
One day in a time of prayer God told me that I should seek these people out and tell them how sorry I was for having caused them pain or heartache of any kind – even if it was something small and insignificant to them. I was terrified, it meant facing all the people I had ever hurt – at least all that I could get into contact with, and beg their forgiveness. Well, I put it off and put it off but I could not escape God’s urging to do this so that I could be free of my guilt.
Finally one day at work I decided it was time. I sat down and typed out letters to a few people – these people, among others included my sisters and my husband's ex-wife. You see he and I had an affair after his marriage had fallen apart and they got divorced because of it. I was not living Christ’s life for me and I had backslidden right down into the gutter and I was determined to do things my way. I did exactly that and I caused a lot of pain and bitterness.
This is very hard…
My husband’s ex-wife and I have gotten on okay all these years. We both just decided that we didn’t want the children getting stuck in a horrible tug of war between bitter parents. But I was battling and struggling with guilt and regret. I wrote her letter to her in December 2005 and when the boys went down to visit her I sent it with them to her. I have never told anyone this because I don’t want it to seem like I am trying to bang my own drum. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do – but obedience to God brings freedom. Even typing this post is very hard – but I have been putting this off too – and God has been prompting me to share this testimony because when we share our testimony’s of the good things God is doing in our lives we bring encouragement to one another. So here it is. You see I was SO blessed in the responses I got from all my letters – not one person denied me forgiveness. NOT ONE!
One day in a time of prayer God told me that I should seek these people out and tell them how sorry I was for having caused them pain or heartache of any kind – even if it was something small and insignificant to them. I was terrified, it meant facing all the people I had ever hurt – at least all that I could get into contact with, and beg their forgiveness. Well, I put it off and put it off but I could not escape God’s urging to do this so that I could be free of my guilt.
Finally one day at work I decided it was time. I sat down and typed out letters to a few people – these people, among others included my sisters and my husband's ex-wife. You see he and I had an affair after his marriage had fallen apart and they got divorced because of it. I was not living Christ’s life for me and I had backslidden right down into the gutter and I was determined to do things my way. I did exactly that and I caused a lot of pain and bitterness.
This is very hard…
My husband’s ex-wife and I have gotten on okay all these years. We both just decided that we didn’t want the children getting stuck in a horrible tug of war between bitter parents. But I was battling and struggling with guilt and regret. I wrote her letter to her in December 2005 and when the boys went down to visit her I sent it with them to her. I have never told anyone this because I don’t want it to seem like I am trying to bang my own drum. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do – but obedience to God brings freedom. Even typing this post is very hard – but I have been putting this off too – and God has been prompting me to share this testimony because when we share our testimony’s of the good things God is doing in our lives we bring encouragement to one another. So here it is. You see I was SO blessed in the responses I got from all my letters – not one person denied me forgiveness. NOT ONE!
If God is busy working through a process in your life - listen to His promptings and be obedient. It may at times seem hard and impossible to do, but He will bring you through it and He will be able to use you even more powerfully because of it.
If there is anybody out there dealing with guilt and regret bring it to Jesus and lay it down at His feet. He may not deal with you in the same way He dealt with me – but He will carry your burden for you.
If there is anybody out there dealing with guilt and regret bring it to Jesus and lay it down at His feet. He may not deal with you in the same way He dealt with me – but He will carry your burden for you.
Have a blessed Wednesday
8 comments:
wow, powerful story, with a purpose.
If people are forgiving, then how much more our God? it is good to know we can be freed from guilt and shame.
What a wonderful reminder. Something we all need to hear. Thanks for stopping by my blog! I thought I take a peak at yours.
Blessings,
Lisa
http://myblogintheheartofafrica.blogspot.com
He is often the voice that encourages me to stop doing what I am doing, or to right what I have wronged.
oh sis!
now i'm crying- and you KNOW there's not much that makes me cry!
i am so VERY proud of you!
Great post of truth.
David - Yes, it is comforting.
Lisa - And thank you for stopping by here too. God bless!!
Marge - And it is SO good that you listen to that voice. Well done!
Angel - Ag man now YOU made me cry! I love you.
Debra - Thank you.
I admire your courage and commitment, Spooks - so much! Love, Me xox
Dawn - Do you have any idea my friend how much I admire you? I love you.
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