A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

ANNIVERSARY MEME

2008-12-12T15:51:00.003+02:00

This is an Anniversary meme. It’s not technically our anniversary – but we did get engaged on Christmas Eve so it’s close enough. I won’t be around to post this then so I am putting it up now.

1. Who is your man?

Barry is my man!!!

2. How long have you been together?

12 years – married for 11

3. How long did you date before you got married?

1 year – give or take a month or so.

4. How old is your man?

39!!! I want to have a party for his 40^th next year!!

5. Who eats more?

Sometimes he does and sometimes I do – depends on who’s hungrier.

6. Who said "I love you" first?

I can’t really remember – it was probably him, I don’t think I have ever said it first. And I still love to hear him say it!

7. Who is taller?

Oh he is – and I like it!!

8. Who sings better?

I do – by far!!

9. Who is smarter?

When it comes to general knowledge and life skills I am smarter. When it comes to business smart and money and budgeting he is smarter

10. Whose temper is worse?

His is worse. Gotten better over the years, but his is worse.

11. Who does the laundry?

We both do.

12. Who takes out the garbage?

The kids.

13. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

I do. When he is away on business I sleep on his side.

14. Who pays the bills?

He does!! He’s my hero!

15. Who is better with the computer?

I am. He is learning now due to his promotion.

16. Who mows the lawn?

The complex garden services!!

17. Who cooks dinner?

We both do. But lately he is lazy when it gets to his turn – and then he buys take out or hot dogs or something like that.

18. Who drives when you are together?

Oh he does – much better for both of us that way.

19. Who pays when you go out?

Well it comes out of our bank account – but “he does”

20. Who is the most stubborn?

He is SO stubborn!

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong?

I am, and I say sorry first too.

22. Whose parents do you see most?

I think mine, we are closer than he and his family are. They are close, but not as close as we are. He visits his dad every now and then – they are very close.

23. Who kissed who first?

We kissed each other. We were at a club for my 21^st and the power went out and before I knew what was happening we were kissing!! I will never forget it. I had wanted him to kiss me for such a long time!

24. Who asked who out?

I think I asked him out. To my 21^st…

25. Who proposed?

He did. On Christmas Eve at my parents house in front of everyone!!

26. Who is most sensitive?

We are both very sensitive. He doesn’t show it as easily as I do ( I cry at the drop of a hat!) – but it doesn’t take much to make him cry – for a man I mean, I cry more easily, but for him, as a man it doesn’t take much. He cried on our wedding day, when our son was born, when we had to give away our kitty and when he gave me my car. And not so much cry as just have his eyes well up with tears and then he fights for control. He’s so precious!

27. Who has the most friends?

I do. Always have! He is more a “one best friend” man.

28. Who has more siblings?

I do!! I have three and he has two.

29. Who wears the pants in the family?

He does. I believe that being submissive and that honoring his request and wishes is important. A wife should be her husbands crown and by trying to take over his role that will never happen.

30. How did you meet?

We met on a conference at the Lion Park. We just connected instantly! He came to work in the same branch that I was in and our relationship and feelings grew stronger for each other from there. The rest is history!

E-MAILS FROM GOD?

2008-12-03T08:23:00.001+02:00

This week I received an e-mail that had a sentence/statement in it which I had to complete and send back to. The sentence goes like this:

“You and I should…”

As soon as I read it I felt God complete it on my behalf. He said:

…spend more intimate time together.”

This is definitely something He has been highlighting for me this week. He wants to spend intimate quality one on one time with me. With us, I have decided that I will wait on Him. I will spend intimate time with Him so that my heart can connect with His like never before.

SPECIAL GIFTS FOR SPECIAL PEOPLE

2008-11-14T08:47:00.003+02:00

I have been what many may refer to a “a friend in need”. I don’t have my own car yet and so I have needed many lifts to many places. Most of my destinations are not far from where I am and “en route” but I really have been a needy person. The people who have been helping me A LOT are really wonderful people. They are real friends to me and I wanted to let them know that what they have been doing for me means SO much to me. I don’t actually have words to say how much they have meant to me.

You see, I hate having to ask for a lift anywhere and I always feel like such a burden and a schlep and real “friend in need is a friend in deed” (please read that with a very whiny nasal voice for the full effect.) type of person. And these people have helped me out happily and lovingly every. single. time. without so much a sigh, or rolling their eyes or a complaint or anything.

Now, the thing is, I really want to thank these people, and I was wracking my brain as to what I could do that would be special and really show my appreciation of the people who have blessed me more than they will ever realise.

I want to get them something that will last and always remind them of the wonderful gift of friendship they brought into my life. Something meaningful and worthy of such people. I mean flowers are nice – but they just don’t say enough. A vase is lasting – but it just doesn’t say “thank you” quite the way I need it to. And anything else also just seems too, I dunno – BELEEEAGH!!!! Know what I mean? It’s just not personal enough…

Then I had a BRAINWAVE!! I recently restrung my pearls that Happy got for me about 10 years ago. And when I had finished I had a few left. Four, to be exact. Now they are not very big – but they are the real thing and I have friend at church who makes jewelry! So for Sharlene I am going to have a pretty and simplistic pair of earrings made that look like this:

Only the pearls are white, and the earrings will be silver too.

And then for Ester I decided on a pretty pendant like this:

And the pearl of course is also white, also in silver…

I think they are very deserving of these gifts and I hope that they will know just how much their friendship has meant to me. And the pearls represent their friendship which is like a precious pearl to me.

I just can’t wait to actually give these to them. I am so excited I can almost burst!!

And then there is Joanne. She is a God send – literally. Whenever I need guidance or advice or just a chat Joanne has been there for me. She has such wisdom and sees things from such a new perspective and her advice is always good and helpful. And I am always reminded of the Proverb in the Bible that says “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.”(Proverbs 25:11) So I will be getting her a small pendant made to something of this sort of design. And none of it will cost me very much because I have got the pearls and I have got the Gold for the apple pendant. And the silver used will be very little and won’t cost much at all. So, the gifts will be meaningful – which I want, and light on my pocket too – which is just a bonus I think.

A good way to say thank you – dontcha think?

Coca-Cola's Crappy Customer Care

2008-11-11T15:05:00.001+02:00

Coca-Cola has got very bad to non existent customer care. I am not impressed with them at all. Last week Tuesday I bought a 2ℓ Coke from our local Spar and poured some for each of us. As I got to the very last sip of mine there was a beetle in it. Which I almost swallowed! I was disgusted and almost threw up. Now I know you may all be thinking that the bug could have fallen into my glass without me seeing it, but I doubt it. I took the glass out of the dishwasher and usually (from my experience) when a bug or insect falls into your drink it floats on the top – it doesn't sink…

So, I called up Coca-Cola on their Customer Care line and told them what had happened. I was told to keep the suspect bottle and they would send someone out to see me. That was last week Wednesday. I have not heard a single thing from them since then, so I called again today. The lady on the other end of the line simply said she would have to log the complaint again as she did do it last week too. And I must please keep the bottle.

What they will do with the bottle I don't know. It is half empty (no, not half full) and I certainly didn't keep the beetle. I was so grossed out when it happened that the last thing I though of was bagging it to keep as evidence.

Let's hope I will hear from them before this week is up. I am not overly hopeful, but I will wait and see what happens.

Should I be surprised though? This is South Africa after all – not the best country to expect good Customer Service now is it?

Mommy Meme

2008-10-16T08:21:00.003+02:00

Ok, so I haven’t been tagged – but Angel from Angel's Mind did this one and I enjoyed it so much I decided it was one I really wanted to do too.

I am a step mom and I have my own son too – so I am going to do this one on Donny – because he’s the only one I gave birth to. The other two boys will probably feature somewhere too, after all I have been their mom for almost 11 years now…

1. How long have you been a Mom?

In January it will be 9 years. But I have been a step mom to two boys for close to 11 years.

2. How many children call you Mommy?

Three!

3. Girl, boy, or both?

All boys.

4. Did you know what you were having?

Yes, when I was pregnant with Donovan I wanted to know – I’m not good with surprises I know I have to wait for.

5. How old were you when you became a Mom?

I was 25 when I had Donovan, and 22 when I married my instant family.

6. How long were you in labor?

Actually I didn’t even know I was in labour. I had Donovan on the day I had my final check up at my OBGYN. Our car broke down on the way to the doctor and I had to walk to a garage to make a phone call and I suspect that triggered my labour. I was already 2 cm’s dilated when I got to my doctor. Donovan was too long though and his head wasn’t placed nicely in the birth canal. No, it was behind the birth canal so I ended up having a caesarian – and even with that they battled to get him out!! LOL! It was very quick, I was in 16:00 and Donny was born at 16:32.

7. What’s your favorite thing about being a Mom?

I can’t tell you just one thing; I have cried at all the children’s concerts and sports matches. I feel very privileged to be allowed to raise three amazing boys.

8. What’s your least favorite thing?

Having to deal with disobedience, defiance and testing of boundaries.

9. Do you want more kids?

I would LOVE to have one more – but only if there was a 100% fully guaranteed guarantee that it would be a girl. I would so love to have a little girl.

10. Do you plan on having more soon?

Not soon, but sometimes I think that maybe God does have another child planned for us in our future. And sometimes I think it’s just me… LOL!!!

11. How many times have you been pee’d on?

I don’t really remember – probably a few times!

12. Barfed on?

PLENTY!!!!

13. Is your child named after anyone?

Um, no. I wanted him to have his own identity.

14. How did you come up with their name?

I compiled a list of possibilities and then we picked one together.

15. When your child gets in trouble, who is the bad guy?

Sometimes it’s me. And sometimes it’s their dad – it depends on who’s around at the time to handle the “trouble”.

16. What is the longest you have been away from your children?

I went to Bloemfontein once for about 6 days. And my two step sons have been away quite often to visit their mom. Usually it’s the kids who go somewhere, not me.

17. Bedtime routine?

We don’t really have one – each night is different.

18. Are your toes painted?

ALWAYS!!!!

19. Last movie you saw in the theater?

I don’t really go to the theater. We like to get movies to watch at home, it’s more family friendly and comfy. You can have whatever you like to eat and you can stretch out and recline or lie down while watching it too.

21. One thing you did give up now that you’re a mom…

Nothing I can really mention of the top of my head. I love being a mom. And everything we do in life requires some form of sacrifice. And to be a good mom I have made MANY of those.

22. Best Mom perk…

Little letters I find in my bedroom. Unexpected hugs and kisses. And being told I am beautiful when I look my absolute worst!!!

23. Snack, you sneak bites from your child?

I don’t sneak bites, I get given them. Donovan is very generous and shares easily.

24. When the kid is napping, you are…

Napping? That’s not something Donovan EVER did well or much of. He only started to sleep through after 3 years of age and even now his sleep is very restless. He talks and walks in is sleep – frequently!! Napping wasn’t something I got or get much of.

25. Where is your child(ren) now?

They are at school.

26. Favorite place to buy maternity clothes?

I like Woolworths, but I think I only bought one item from there. I bought mostly tracksuit pants and pants with a “draw string” in the top.

27. If I could do it over…

I don’t think I would change anything. I would like to be pregnant again, I loved being pregnant. Again? Anytime! In a heartbeat! But now is not the right time…

28. Did it turn out the way you expected?

Did what turn out the way I expected? My children? The birth? No, none of it turned out the way I had planned or expected. But the rest is in God’s hands. He is in control and I know nothing takes him by surprise. My hope is in the Lord and I pray for children’s futures. I pray for their wives, their careers their studies. And I know that we can overcome anything through Christ. As long as He remains in control – nothing can sink us.

TO SAY THANKS

2008-09-30T09:20:00.001+02:00

I want to leave a post here for all the wonderful people who visit and comment on my blog. I cannot tell you how awesome it is to see comments in my in-box. I am acknowledging you here because I cannot visit your blogs or leave replies to your comments on my blog as access to blogs has been blocked at work (which is the only place I had access to blogs from…) I am able to e-mail posts to my blog and Angel helps to publish them for me. So pleeeeeease don’t take it personally that I don’t stop over to read your blog – I so wish I could! To be able to get to know you all better would be the most awesome thing ever!

So to my sweet sis for all your help, you make blogging possible even when it’s not - and for your comments and to everyone else who visits and comments – Mel, Wenchy – thank you, from the heart of my bottom. Thank you!

Mwa! Mwa! Mwa!

5 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SOUTH AFRICA

2008-09-26T09:41:00.003+02:00

Angel over at Angels Mind wrote a post about this on her blog and because she did it “late” she didn’t tag anyone. But I decided I wanted to do my own post for this anyway. Now I haven’t seen any of the other bloggers, except hers (cause I get an e-mail version) who have put up this post so I don’t know how repetitive mine will be. In no specific order, these are the things I love about living in and being a South African!

Our language and “slang” – For example: “I can like to haff a lekka chat wiff anudder souf effrikun en he can like to unnerstan ikzakly wot I’m saying. We like to gooi a cow on the braai and gooi somma anything else we want in the mix too. And its mos the best thing to bump into another Souf Effrikun innanother country (you can tell it’s a Souf Affie from the Sprinkgbok jersey, cap, scarf, t-shirt etc…) and yell BOKKE! at one each other.”

We don’t live in apartments, we don’t have elevators or traffic lights we live in flats we use lifts and we have ROBOTS on our streets!! And anything can happen “now now”… We are going now-now, I am coming now-now. When? Now-now! Dis mos lekka!

Our Rugby team!! Especially Victor Matfield – oh baby!! We are the current World Champs, and I love the Bokke!!

Our Wines – We have got some fabulous wineries and wine and wine routes in this country.

The Big 5 - Who can top that? The Lion, Leopard, Elephant, Buffalo and Rhino. No other country has anything like them.

And our Radio Stations – 5FM, 94.7 Highveld Stereo and 94.2 Jacaranda, 103FM Impact Radio and Tuks FM to name a few. I love the DJ’s and the music. Lots of South African music as well as world wide hits and awesome competitions! I have won a few times on the radio myself. I think we have the best Radio stations in the world. Granted I have never experienced other countries radio stations – but from feedback I have heard from people visiting other countries – there is nothing like S.A Radio!

We have it all in this country, and that’s why I love it here and the reason I am Proudly South African.

MY BLISSFUL DAY OFF!!

2008-09-25T09:20:00.002+02:00

Yesterday was a public holiday. A day off in the middle of the week. A little oasis in the middle of huge dry desert (that’s my work). And I took full advantage – especially since my husband is away for the week and I could spend some time on me!

I went and did my grocery shopping – a.l.o.n.e. without my hubby – I had all the time in the world to look at stuff, compare prices, and not run through the store like a crazy lady begging (yelling) her husband to just hang on a few seconds. Or running after the trolley with arms full of stuff cause he’s buggered off down the next isle somewhere. And then getting to the till to find two of everything in the trolley cause neither knows from one isle to the next who’s putting what into it!

I could shop as loooooong as I wanted which is a real luxury for me. I could shop like all women LOVE to shop – on my own time! Why do men hate shopping so much?

When I came home I pampered myself a little. After all that shopping I needed it!! I coloured my hair. I shaped (plucked) and tinted my eyebrows. I gave myself a facial – mask and all. I painted my toenails and French manicured my fingernails. I blow dried and styled my hair and then I lay and vegetated in my room watching the telly.

There was nothing good on – but still it was nice to just lie there looking gorgeous and doing nothing, nibbling a chocolate and drinking a glass of wine!!

I think I missed my calling – professional shopper and beautician. Anyone need the hair, nails or eyebrows done? I can give you a facial too.

Hopefully the “gorgeousness” will last till he gets back on Monday – I don’t have another day off to redo it all…

Although there is Saturday, but I have a lot of washing etc to do… then there’s Sunday, I am sure I could do another round of pampering on Sunday…

THOUGHT PROVOKING PICTURES

2008-09-23T15:27:00.005+02:00

Did you know the Rose of Sharon (not just as the Hibiscus..)?

Have you ever wondered what the Lily of the Valley looks like?

Have you ever imagined that you are the apple of someone’s eye?

Do you know the Alpha and Omega?

Have you ever been lost in prayer and worship?

Will you let yourself be molded in the Potters Hands?

Do you know anyone who loves you enough to die for you?

Jesus is the Rose of Sharon and the Lily of the valley (Song of Songs 2:1)

You are the Apple of His eye.

Jesus is the Alpha and Omega (Rev 1:8)

Praise and Worship – Read ALL the psalms! David spent more time caught up in the presence of God than man.

Clay in the Potters hands (Isaiah 64:8)

Do you know anyone who loves you enough to die for you? (John 3:16)

AMAZING LOVE!!!

2008-09-17T15:51:00.002+02:00

God and I have our very own song!! It’s really so cool. Every time I hear it I say “Here’s our song Lord!” it is significant because He spoke to me through this particular song. I heard his voice say the words “I love you” as clear as a bell when I heard it the one day.

I was so moved by it that I was brought to my knees in a heap of tears. His presence was so powerful and so consuming that I was completely oblivious to the rest of the world – for just those few minutes I was lost in His love completely!

Oh what an experience – that has brought me to long for him more and more and to find myself in is presence whenever I can. A guy who preached at church on Sunday put it like this: It’s not that we have to read our bibles – we get to read it. It’s not that we have to pray it that we get to have communication with God – what privileges!!

And now I can think of nothing better and of no better place to be than in his presence. I am completely addicted to Him.

Remember the first time you fell in love? Remember how you lived to hear your new lover’s voice, or feel his touch or read his love letters? That’s how I am in love with Jesus. He is the be all and end all of my life. He is the lover of my soul! And it’s a good thing because when we love and are loved by him we are able to love others more completely and unconditionally.

You see, he knows absolutely everything there is to know about me. He knows every dark little secret and every private dream and every hope and every hurt and every single tear and fear. He has seen the very depths of my heart – yet he still loves me 100% unconditionally. There is nothing I can do or have to do to earn his love.

He knew me even before I was forming in my mother’s womb. He had a plan for my life and he had prepared good works for me even before I was created. He watched me forming in the darkness of the womb end even then he loved me.

His love is an all consuming, mind blowing, terrifying love. It never ends and it has no beginning. It covers over a multitude of wrongs and comforts and strengthens me. There is none that can ever compare to him. He holds my heart firmly in his hands

This is the song that I am talking about. It is still “Our Song”.

"When You Say You Love Me"

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth
Frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

[bridge:]
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment, I know why I'm alive
When you say you love me.

When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

Thank you Jesus for loving me.

I love you!!

Current Addictions

2008-09-16T09:35:00.003+02:00

Ok, this is going to be a little difficult as I have been stripped of all my addictions one by one. I have only one MAJOR addiction. And seeing as I am not doing as the rules say exactly I won’t be tagging anyone either

Now, here’s the rules:

*Post at least five current addictions and why you’re addicted to them
*Link to Being Brazen the creator of the meme (awesome way to get people to come and check you out) and to the person who tagged you.

This post is thanks to Angel, from Angel’s Mind as she tagged me. My first tag in AGES!!! Thanks Sis!!!
*Head your post with "Current addictions"
*Tag at least two people and pass on the above rules

1) Jesus, I am addicted to Jesus (A-2-J). He is my Saviour, my Lord, my rock and my fortress. He is my reason for living, I don’t enter into anything without consulting Him and I never go anywhere without asking His protection.

He is the lover of my soul, the hero of my heart, my knight in shining armor and my Mighty Hero God!!

I don’t believe in having any addictions, because these things become more important than God and I don’t ever want to loose sight of him as the author and finisher of my life and my faith. And I will not place my faith in anything or anyone else.

This is a song that Carman sang – which made me think twice a long time ago:

Addicted to Jesus

Yo what up fellas?
Yo, what up Carman!
Hey, have you heard of A-2-J?
A to what? I’ve heard of A to Z?
As in, are you A-2-J?

Let me take you to school…

Gimme a J! J, you got your J
Gimme an E! E, you got your E
Gimme an SUS! SUS, you got your SUS
What does it spell? Jesus

What do you got? Jesus

Break it down… Jesus

J-J-Jesus…

People get addicted, To new things everyday
Television, video's Yo what can I say?
Shoppin till they dropping, Hoppin at the mall
Yakkin, yakkin on the phone, Who else should we call?

But I stand with the man, Who made the blind to see
Livin large, super charged, He something in me (He sure did!!)
Check it out, it’s about, A total change of mind
Don't wait too late, You may run out of time

CHORUS:

Stand tall (stand tall)
Stand strong (stand strong)
Sing it loud (say it loud)
Sing it looooooong
Bust the Devil (bust him up)
Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Get alive with God
Addicted to Jesus!

People they go crazy, don't know when to stop
Runnin, Joggin, exercisin, “I wanna pump you up”
Smokin in the boys room, Drink up all the booze
Druggin, crackin, heartattackin
bzzzzzzzzzzzz - Brother you lose

No common sight, crime at night - Danger 'round the bend
No way out, yo its about, Being born again
Paid the price, sacrifice - The cross on Calvary
It's done, He won, and you can be free

CHORUS

Addiction, you know everybody’s got
From top to the very bottom of the list
So come get you fix on addiction,
You don't wanna miss to Christ who paid the price
Died on the cross as a sacrifice for our sin,

so I'll say it again - Me and my boys are addicted to Him

Praise him, praise him, praise him
GO! Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him

GO! Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him

GO! Praise the Lord with your feet (x2)

Stand tall (stand tall)
Stand strong (stand strong)
Sing it loud (say it loud)
Sing it looooooong
Bust the Devil (bust him up)
Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Get alive with God...

Stand tall (stand tall)
Stand strong (stand strong)
Sing it loud (say it loud)
Sing it looooooong
Bust the Devil (bust him up)
Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Get alive with God

Addicted to Jesus!

A-2-J

DON'T MESS WITH THIS MAMMA; I HAVE JESUS IN MY CORNER!!

2008-09-15T12:25:00.003+02:00

Ok, I now that my last post was about how I wanted to post off my oldest son – truth is, I was really so in the midst of things that I almost let my emotions get the better of me. Although my patience and my perseverance was tested this last week as I have never had it tested before, it was still fruitful in the end. Let me explain…

But first let me set the scene….

{Picture if you will a boxing ring with a single spotlight overhead. In the center of the ring is a gentleman with a Tuxedo on and a microphone is lowered before him from the darkness beyond the spotlight. He introduces the “fighters”. Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight’s dual is an age old battle of teenager against rules and parental boundaries. The fight that will last 4 rounds, the rules are as follows. No punches below the belt, no fighting dirty. Prayer can be used as a weapon at any time and both fighters are to move back to their corners at the sound of the bell. Now, let me introduce the fighters to you! In the Red corner, weighing in at 15 years old with an attitude to boot and a defiance to match iiiiiiisssssssssssszza Maaaaark-a Maaaaaatttthewsssssza! And in the white corner, weighing in at years of parenting and sacrifice and love, with a longing to teach her children respect and discipline, with the Jesus Christ as her personal trainer and coach iiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssza theeeeeea Prayiiiiiing Mooooootherrrrrrr!!!!!!

Fighters, please enter the center ring, respect and obey the rules, and remember you can use your one permitted weapon at any or at all times.}

My oldest son really pushed and tested his boundaries by breaking ~~almost~~ every rule we have ever put into place. And he did this while my husband was away for the week on a business trip. So I had to deal with each incident alone. One thing I did though, before confronting him each time (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday) was to seek God for wisdom, strength, words and composure – and I tell you I really felt His presence during each encounter and was very encouraging to know that I was not alone. I was invincible and I stood my ground knowing that I was doing the right thing, no matter how difficult or unpleasant it was.

I decided on punishments appropriate to the crimes and the behavior and then I would have to inform my husband of the goings on at home everyday. That was hard and I imagine it was hard on him too especially being away from home. He assured me that he would take over and deal it when he came home.

I spent a lot of time praying for my husband. I prayed that God would give him wisdom, strength and calmness to deal with the situation. I prayed that he would see things for what they were and not be fooled by lies and manipulations. I prayed that my husband would support and uphold my decisions made in his absence.

Well, I was blown away. My husband came home and sat ALL THREE the boys down at the dinner table and basically told them that even in his absence his authority is still the governing authority. He told them that I was his partner and I came “before” them and that if they disobey me when he is not home they are disobeying him. And when they disrespect me, they are disrespecting him. Everything I prayed for was answered and I was overjoyed!! I was then able to also affirm my husband after the fact and tell him that I was very impressed with the way he handled the situation and I was proud of him. And that’s the truth!! I really was proud of him! And secretly I was proud of me too. I am so thankful that God was so faithful in answering my prayers each time I came to him. I learned so much from this whole experience and I will always deal with conflict or disobedience or defiance in this manner. It is the only way that has positive results.

So, don’t mess with this mamma – I have Jesus in my corner – and I remembered to use the weapon I had at my disposal at all times!!

~~posted for brigitte by her sister angel

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

2008-09-11T10:50:00.002+02:00

Does anybody want a 15 year old? (He will be 16 in Feb) You can have him for free, I won’t ask for payment. He has is a GEM of a child, with lots of perks. Here, I’ll list them for you to wet your appetites a bit…

- There are guaranteed mood swings and grumpiness.
- He will never say hello, thank you or good morning. (Even though you have taught it to him since he was little)
- He will probably punch holes in your doors when he looses his temper over something stupid like bumping his head or spilling something on himself.
- He has no regard for rules whatsoever, and will blatantly disobey them – no matter how explicitly you lay them and the consequences of breaking them out for him.
- He will never lift a finger around the house and if he does (after you have asked him like 100 000 000 000 000 times to do something) it is a HUGE effort for him and takes forever.
- And homework and studying for tests is ALL left to the very last minute - or just not done at all.

Now, I ask you doesn’t he just sound like the perfect child? He is 100% rebellious and unpleasant all the time, and he ~~thinks~~ believes he is always right.

Ok. Let me get serious for a moment. I am not really going to give my son away (I mean, I am sure the people will be breaking down my door to have him…). No, I am going to do what Bree did in Desperate Housewives and drive him out to some forsaken garage in the middle of the Karoo desert and leave him there to do whatever he wants with himself.

I am just feeling SO utterly “moedeloos”^*. My husband has been away this week on business and since Monday, there have been non stop issues with this kid. I removed his bedroom door on Tuesday evening because he punched a hole in my bathroom door on Monday. Then on Tuesday he was at his friend’s house (which he knows is not allowed) – and I had to speak to him about that too on Tuesday evening and remind him that the rules are no friends during the week. No having friends over and no going to friends’ house. Fridays is ok – then there is a bit of freedom to do that, but Monday to Thursday it is not allowed. And I had to lay out some kind of punishment that will take place if this rule is not obeyed.

Yesterday (Wednesday) I discover (after 8:00pm only) that the one bedroom window is broken. He had had a friend over and there were silly games played in the house and someone got pushed and fell back into the window. Now, thank God no one was hurt – it could have been an absolute disaster had that happened. But the fact remains – none of this would have happened if the rules had been obeyed, right? If he had shown just a modicum of respect and obedience – this would not have happened. I wouldn’t be all upset, I wouldn’t have had to punish anyone and there wouldn’t be a “vibe” around the house.

(I am the cause of the vibe though because I am so totally PISSED OFF!!!)

erm….

So now, not only does he not have a bedroom door, but he has no cell-phone, his bedtime has been moved back an hour and there will be no going to play soccer on the weekends with friends – for the rest of this month. And I think we will put him into the Primary School Aftercare Center too so he wont be able to come home alone everyday anymore either. See, when I spoke to him on Tuesday I told him that I would take away ALL his privileges if he didn’t stick to the rules, and he said he didn’t have any. Well, now he really doesn’t have any and we will see how he feels about that.

I have absolutely had it! And all of this in THREE days – I am ready to just move to another town, no city, no continent! Either that or send him to another planet.

My offer still stands – any takers, anybody….

^* It is an Afrikaans term used here in South Africa to express that you are absolutely hopeless – it just doesn’t sound as good as “moedeloos”.

~~published on behalf of an internet access-less Brigitte by her sister Angel~~

MY HUSBAND – THE Plumbers ARSE!!!

2008-08-27T10:25:00.001+02:00

Here we have another PERFECT example of what happens when husbands don’t or won’t listen to their wives.

Ok, so here’s the story. My dishwasher stopped heating up the water when it washes, because it is not hooked up to the hot water, it uses cold water which it heats to save energy. So I have to get it fixed because I am now SO spoiled with having it that I cannot stand washing by hand.

Anyway, I contact “a guy” who will come to pick it up and take it to be repaired because it’s “probably just something small like the thermostat or the element (or both…)”. Great so they will be in on Thursday to pick it up.

This is where My Hubby comes in. He insists that we will have to disconnect the dishwasher from the connection in the wall and have it ready to go when they get to my house to pick it up. (I, on the other hand, am sure they will probably be able to do all that – but NO! – I mean what, I ask you, do I know???). So Last night, before I can get dinner started he’s moved the dishwasher out of it’s little space in the kitchen and is in under the counter trying to get the pipe disconnected. Now logic tells me to switch the water OFF outside at the main tap – but he says it will not be necessary. Who am I to argue?

Within 2 minutes the little tap connection he is trying to tighten, or loosen or whatever, with pliers, breaks. Water BURSTS out of the pipe, no the hole in the wall in a huge spray flooding everything (including him) in seconds!

So now he has created four, five, no, TEN times the amount of work for himself. And all because he wouldn’t listen to me. Because he has to now dry up the wet floor and kitchen in general, and get somebody out to fix the broken wall fixture, and get the dishwasher repaired.

We now have no water (after I ran like a mad woman to switch it off outside), and all his attempts to try to block the hole in the wall are useless. I throw my toys and tell him I’m going to my mother. I haven’t had a shower and I cannot go to work without one. I cannot even go to the toilet! How am I supposed to get anything done with no water. He should have just left everything for the pro’s to do when they got here!! Well my husband and my oldest some both ran around fetching water in pots, bottles and kettles from the garden tap (which still worked) and boiling it all up to make enough hot water for me to bath in – LOL!!!

This morning was fun too trying to wash our faces, make breakfast, brush our teeth and do our hair without running water. It is amazing how much one uses just to do those things!! My kids really had an eye opener to how fortunate we are, and how awful it is for those people living in rural areas who don’t have running water and have to walk long distances just to get some in a bucket to carry back home.

Maybe next time he will listen to me. I doubt it, but one can always hope…

~~posted for Brigitte by her sister Angel

Invincible Poopie

2008-08-21T07:41:00.002+02:00

Here’s a funny story to put a smile on your faces. On Sunday night when I came home from church one of the kids had used the toilet at some stage (we will never know who it was) and left a “floater” after flushing. Now this is something that really makes me gril and I cannot use a toilet if there are still remnants of the previous person still in the bowl. This is something Barry thinks is very funny. Same as I can’t use the basin to brush my teeth if it hasn’t been rinsed first – yuk!!

Anyway, I discover the “floater” and take action. I pile some loo paper on top of it and flush – waiting with baited breath to see if it has worked – but alas, all the loo paper is gone – but the “floater” is still there – smug and smirking at me. I wait for the tank to fill up with water and try again. To no avail! It just duck and dives through the loo paper and stays on top – once again all the loo paper is gone but not the “floater”. “Ag come on!” I cry in frustration, much to Barry’s delight in the bedroom! “Is it still there babe?” He asks – but I can here the laughter hiding just beneath his “concern”. I go to the room and get into bed deciding I have done all I can – it will have to stay till morning. But I can’t.

I can hear it taunting me from the toilet bowl, chuckling smugly to itself – feeling invincible!! Hence it gets it’s title – The Invincible Poopie. I get up and go back to the toilet. I again apply the loo paper – trying to place it carefully to cover it properly so it can’t escape the tissue trap I made for it – but lo and behold, it does and I can just hear it squealing with glee at it’s great escape once more.

I go back to the room – frustrated, and Barry is trying to hide a smile. “Won’t it go?” he asks again (trying not to laugh at my frustration). And he starts to giggle, and I start to giggle – it has us totally stumped and we both sit in the bed laughing to the tears roll. All in all I try SIX times to flush the miserable piece of shit, but I have no luck. I throw up my hands and tell Barry it’s his turn – I cannot and will not wake up to it in the morning and he has to try now.

He gets up out of bed, goes to the toilet and flushes it and it’s gone. Just like that! I cannot believe it. I couldn’t get rid of it and he doesn’t even try. He just flushes the loo ONE TIME and it’s gone.

Now I can sleep – and not be plagued by thoughts of the nasty little floating poopie that wouldn’t flush away still lingering in the toilet.

But when I think about my little battle with the ALMOST invincible poopie – I still chuckle.

posted for Brigitte by her sister Angel

THIS IS MY PRAYER FOR MY SON

2008-02-07T12:44:00.001+02:00

Find Your Wings – Mark Harris

It's only for a moment you are mine to hold
The plans that heaven has for you
Will all too soon unfold
So many different prayers I'll pray
For all that you might do
But most of all I'll want to know
You're walking in the truth
And If I never told you
I want you to know
As I watch you grow

Chorus:
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

May passion be the wind
That leads you through your days
And may conviction keep you strong
Guide you on your way
May there be many moments
That make your life so sweet
Oh, but more than memories

Chorus:
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

It's not living if you don't reach for the sky
I'll have tears as you take off
But I'll cheer as you fly

Chorus:
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings

…don’t have words to explain how spot on this prayer is that I have prayed for my little boy. Just tears…

Our children are, after all – His, not ours.

ANYTHING BOYS CAN DO, GIRLS CAN DO BETTER!!!

2008-02-04T15:26:00.001+02:00

I proved it this weekend!! I went fishing and camping with my husband this past weekend. He is the Marshall of a small lake where a club has fishing rights, so I enjoy a certain amount of respect and honor amongst the club members and they call me Mrs. Marshall or Mrs. “M”, which I quite enjoy. I have even got a “camo” jacket like the rest of them.

Anyway, on Sunday (the last day of our trip) my husband was not near his rods. One had a fish on so I called to him to come and get the rod. When I looked again the rod was being pulled into the water too!! The first thing that went through my mind was the amount of money that rod had cost – and before I knew what I was doing I grabbed the rod and was reeling in the fish, it was a big mother trucker!! But because I am an amateur I held the line too tautly and it pulled out of the fish’s mouth and he got away. At the same time the second rod had a run too so I grabbed that one too!! This fishy I landed with the help by now of my husband. It was also a rather large fish – my husband says it was probably around 7 kg’s.

Anyway, about 2 hours later my husband was off preparing the rest of the angling beats for a competition next weekend and I was alone with the rods. And another Fisherman’s wife was there with me. She had her two babies along to play on the bank (one a toddler and one not walking yet). Next thing her husband rod starts to run and so she leaves her youngest baby with me and runs off to get his rod and while she is away my husband rods both get runs, and there I am with a baby in hand…

Well the other wife came charging back and took her baby from me and the two of us (she with a baby on the hip) managed to land two nice sized fish and released them safely again. It was good fun!! Both those fish were also 7kg and more in size. My husband is very proud and happily tells the club members that his “wife put ears on him this past weekend!!” LOL!!

GOT A FIZZ IN YOUR FOOT?

2008-01-22T14:44:00.001+02:00

Just a short, funny little story.

About three nights ago Donovan was sitting drawing on the living room floor. I asked him to go and get me his homework book from his room and when he stood up he discovered his foot was asleep. By the time he got back to me he had pins and needles. But what was funny was that he came and stood beside me where I was sitting at the table and stomped his foot in irritation on the floor and with a wrinkled nose and a look of concern he told me his foot felt funny. When I asked him how it felt he said *“Dit kielie – nee, nie kielie nie, dit FIZZ!!!”

I laughed at him of course – poor child. And told him it’s ok, it won’t last long it is only because he sat on it too long. But when he went back to his picture I thought it was actually a very good way to describe the feeling of pins and needles – fizzing. Hee hee!!

“It tickles – no it’s not a tickle it’s fizzing!!!”

IT'S THE WEEKEEEEEEEEEEEND BABY!!

2008-01-18T12:05:00.001+02:00

Ok, so it’s Friday at last. I have got a few things happening this weekend, nothing much though. Tonight I am babysitting two little boys from church for one of our Deacon couples Lisa and Doug. They are going to a Deacons meeting and I offered to baby-sit for Lisa if she ever needed a sitter.

On Sunday Sean and Donovan both have “Playdates” arranged. Donovan’s friend is coming home with us and Sean is going home with a friend. Then they will each be returned to their respective parents at the evening service. They are all very excited.

Mark is going to his friend’s house tonight. So it will be just Sean, Donny, Barry and I at home.

Tomorrow morning I am going with Barry to his Lake to check out all the renovations they have made. He leaves on Sunday for his big S.A Colours fishing competition. He will be back on Friday. I have made him lots of little messages on cards to hide in all his bags so that he will find them while he is busy. Things like “I love you”, “I miss you”, “Good Luck”, “Look after yourself”, “Come home safely”, “I am thinking of you” – you get the gist of it LOL!!

Anyhoo – you all have a FABULOPUS weekend.

Take care of yourselves too.

And I hope to have something to post on Monday!!

HE RAN INTO MY FIST!!

2008-01-16T14:53:00.001+02:00

This morning was very entertaining at home. I got the boys up for school and made the breakfast and then jumped into the shower. Halfway through my shower I heard Donovan shouting and crying and performing (as he does so well). I yanked open the shower door and yelled “what’s going on!” and Sean’s usual answer:

*“Ek het niks gedoen nie!” was almost immediate outside the bathroom door. Ja, right! I know these two so well. So I ask again

** “Wat gaan aan?”

To which Sean replies that he told Donovan to clean up his breakfast mess and Donovan told him:

***“Jy’s lekker windgat nê” and then he ran to try and hit Sean. Sean says all he did was hold his hand (fist) up just a little in front of him and Donovan ran into it.

I almost laughed, luckily I was in the bathroom and they couldn’t see my face. How ridiculous is that story: “I didn’t hit him he ran into my fist” If I wasn’t so tired of their bickering and fighting I would have definitely laughed till my sides split!

Kids, they honestly think we are ****doff. But this is one of the best, ridiculous excuses I have ever heard!!

Well done kiddo for quick thinking, I didn’t buy it, but still very good.

* I didn’t do anything!

** What’s going on?

*** You’re very cocky hey.

**** dim, stupid, ignorant (you get my drift?)

OK. SO, PLANS FOR THE NEW YEAR...

2008-01-14T08:36:00.001+02:00

Hmmm, where to start?

Ok, so far I have a 21^st, a Fast and of course my birthday coming up (which is not the 21^st. JA, I know you all though I was still 20 – but I’m not. Sorry to burst that beautiful bubble.)

I am MORE excited about my birthday though than anything else. I have planned a proper English Tea Party. An Elegant, Victorian Tea Party. It is going to be LOVELY!! With all the trimmings. It will be a ladies only event of course – and I have a little surprise planned for the Ladies (24 of us) who will be there. But I cannot reveal any more than that it will be ruined. I just know it is going to be a very blessed and special day for ALL of us.

I have been wondering what I could do for my birthday that would be really special and really different. I am not I the mood for a Braai (which is a Barbeque for those not accustomed to S.A lingo) and I don’t just want to do something casual like I always do. And so I had brainwave! A Tea Party!! My husband and my boys think it is the most girly silly thing to do – but then they are men after all, what would they know or understand about a girly, lacy, pink, flowery tra la la Tea Party?

The theme is Elegance and so is the “dress code” so we all have a chance to put on our prettiest and frilliest and sit sipping Five Roses tea or coffee out of dainty tea cups and nibbling (cause that’s what ladies do – we don’t eat, we nibble) on dainty Petit Fours and other delicious treats.

{Sigh} I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I CANNOT wait!! I have put a lot of thought and planning into the whole event.

But 1^st things 1^st:

1) A fast

2) A 21^st

Chat soon

Thank you Julie, Bunny and Angel for your comments!!

Love you lots!

MMMMMMMMMwa!!!!

2008 IS HERE AT LAST

2008-01-11T07:57:00.001+02:00

It’s 2008 at last.

I know I haven’t posted very often, but it is difficult when all blog sites are blocked. That means I have to e-mail posts to my blog and that I cannot visit any other blogs.

Anyhoo, 2007 is now a thing of the past. I am still licking a few wounds; some of them I fear will probably take another year or so heal. But it is a new year with new possibilities and opportunities.

I finally got my learners license late last year and I am looking to go for my drivers by June. Then we are looking at getting e a little car.

I am looking for a new job. I am tired of this place I am at now. They have always treated me badly and after 10 years I have had enough. The only thing is, without a car I cannot really move cause I live 2 minutes away from where I work and people that work with me live all around me so if I am ever stuck for a lift they help out. If I get work further away and *Happy goes on a business or fishing trip (which he does very often) then I will be truly stuck.

So. My plan is to get my license, then get a new job. I am still looking though – but I am leaving it in Gods hands. If something comes up that is still convenient then I may just take it. I trust in the Lord that He will not take to any situation that will be difficult considering my circumstances.

I don’t really have any new years resolutions – except to make God more of a priority in my life than I did last year, and to spend more time with Him than I did last year. R.T Kendall spends 3 hours a day in prayer. A DAY! 3 hours is a long time to be praying and I think it is amazing. So I have been convicted to do so too. Not 3 hours, but more than I was last year.

I will try to post more often, and know that you are ALL in my thoughts and my prayers all the time and I really do miss reading your blogs and visiting with you everyday. You can e-mail me, my e-mail address is on my profile. And I am on skype too. If you want that you will have to e-mail me. I am not putting it up herer – too many wierdo’s out there in skype land.

Here’s wishing YOU all a blessed, safe and happy 2008!

HE LOVES ME. HE REALLY, REALLY LOVES ME!!

2007-10-30T13:00:00.001+02:00

God is so amazing and I am so amazed at the depths and heights and lengths of His great love for me. He finds little ways in a time of my life that is trying and troublesome to remind me of his love for me. To reassure me, build me up and encourage me. Small gestures made by people around me that I know come straight from God and I feel so blessed and humbled.

I feel so spoiled and I almost feel like I don’t deserve these small gestures and gifts – but through them He is saying to me: “Hey, I love you. I really, really love you. You are my child and I care for you so deeply. I know times are a little hard right now, but just remember I am always, always here for you. I will never leave your side. You are precious in my sight, the apple of my eye. And I love you. Did you hear me? I. LOVE. YOU.”

I cannot express in words the gratitude, humbleness and deep love I have for my Saviour. I am so moved by His love and touched by His grace and it leaves me speechless, breathless and singing my thanks and honour.

I love You Lord

And I lift my voice

To honour You

Oh my soul, rejoice.

Take joy my King

In what You hear

Let it be a sweet, sweet sound

In Your ear

I love You Lord

And I lift my voice

To honour You

Oh my soul, rejoice.

Take joy my King

In what You hear

Let it be a sweet, sweet sound

In Your ear

Let it be a sweet, sweet sound in Your ear

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!

2007-10-23T16:50:00.000+02:00

So the Bokke took the World Cup. It was a tense game – but we prevailed and came out tops. We took Player of the Year, Coach and team of the Year!! We watched the game at Madams house and had a lamb on the spit and the build up to the game.

It was an amazing experience when we all stood to sing our national Anthem together and to have so many people in one room cheering the Bokke was almost overwhelming. We cheered and clapped and booed and chanted!!!

And there were GREAT celebrations when we won. There were tears of joy in many of the supporter’s eyes.

Today our Bokke arrived home and there were at least 2000 people at the airport to welcome them all home. I don’t know if they were even a little prepared for the welcome that was waiting for them. They deserve it, every moment of lime light and celebration.

Starting on Friday they will have the Ticker Tape parades in Johannesburg, Pretoria and all over. It is all so terribly exciting!!!

I am so Proudly South African at this moment that I am convinced my blood is running green through golden veins!!

Bokke – we love you!!!

Well done, I am so proud of you all!

RUGBY WORLD CUP FEVER

2007-10-15T10:34:00.001+02:00

Ok so the Rugby World Cup final is looming. South Africa vs. England. I am SO very proud of our Bokke for coming as far as they have. And I am very optimistic, history shows a total of 29 matches between SA and England, with 16 wins to SA and 12 to England and only 1 draw. I am feeling very positive as we have made it to the final without ONE loss throughout the entire World Cup!! Plus we beat England 36 – 0 in one World Cup match already.

This is going to be a HUGE game and I am so excited about it. I will be going to the airport to welcome our Boys home when they land and bring home the Gold!! I truly think that the World Cup is even bigger than the Olympics in South Africa, I will never forget the 1995 victory – it was SO amazing and such a proud moment for South Africa.

I am glad we are playing England and not France, playing the home team on home ground with a home crowd in a World Cup Final can be quite daunting, so I am very happy with the way things are looking, and very very excited.

GO BOKKE!!!!

“WE SHALL NEVER SURRENDER!! “

I AM BEHIND YOU 200%

My blood is green!!!

RUGBY WORLD CUP

2007-10-08T11:05:00.001+02:00

Ok, for those of you not following the Rugby World Cup Australia and New Zealand are both out. I am proud to say that South Africa is in to the semis!! We will be playing Argentina on Sunday the 14 October.

The entire World Cup has been very exciting, and France played a fantastic game against NZ. The teams left are England, France, SA and Argentina. Argentina has been a strong, strong team right from the beginning and has played very well. SA has beaten England once already in the matches leading up to the Semis, we clobbered them 36 – 0.

So I am saying good luck to the four teams left in the Semis and I am really praying that SA bring home the Gold!!

I am very excited and nervous for our next game – but I have faith in our boys and it was obvious in our last game that we have a few little secrets and tricks waiting for the Argentineans. It has been thrilling up to now and I am sure it is going to be thrilling right to the very end!!! There is still much more action and excitement to come, and I am looking forward to it with GREAT antici……………………………….pation!!

I am rooting for our boys in the Green and Gold!!

GIVE IT HORNS BOYS!!!!! YEEEHAAAAAAAAA!!!

HIER KOMMIE BOKKE!!

BOKKE!

GO BOKKE!!!!!!

WHERE HAVE I BEEN...

2007-10-04T14:05:00.000+02:00

Well, lets see. I can no longer access any blogs from work anymore. Which is a problem cause that’s where I ~~blog~~ blogged from. I have not been able to visit any blogs, so I have NO idea what you are all up to or how you all are either. I miss it all so very much and feel like a huge part of my life has gone on vacation/missing in action/ceased to exist…

Anyhoo. Life has been rather busy besides that. I have had Donovan at doctors to test for AD/HD. He doesn’t have a problem with the school work. His reading and writing and spelling etc is fine. He does, however, have a problem sitting still or keeping quiet. And it is this that is driving his teacher a bit batty. There is not a bad relationship between him and his teacher and he is happy in his family life too. So no emotional problems either. (phew!)

We have not yet decided on a medication to use for him yet, it is after-all a big decision and not one to be taken lightly or made hastily.

We also took him to have his eyes tested and he has Astigmatism. So he will be getting spectacle (much to his delight I might add). He chose a very cute blue frame and is rather miffed that he will have to wait a week to get them. LOL!!!

I think that there will already be a HUGE difference for his teacher once he gets his glasses. Because, I think, once he can see better I think his behavior will improve a little too.

Yesterday I took Mark’s cell phone away from him because he refuses to put a ring tone on it. It is always on silent and so he never hears it when it rings, and as a result you can’t get hold of him. It is maddening to say the least. And when I told him to put a ring tone in he got very defiant and challenging about it so I took it. I haven’t decided yet if I am going to give it back, and he has not yet changed his attitude and until that happens I won’t even consider giving it back.

I am all “Kidded Out”. I am up to my eyeballs with my three boys at this point. Donovan who NEVER stops arguing with me (and drives me to desperation), Mark who is extremely stubborn and defiant, and Sean – well he doesn’t really give me any trouble at all except that he never speaks up when he needs something until the very last minute.

I am on the verge of packing a little bag and getting on the next bus, taxi, plane or train to anywhere!! Preferably a Spa or a hotel where there is Room Service!

PLUS it’s that time of the month too so everything seems 1000 times worse than it really is to me at this point. And I won’t even get started on my husband – that is another million and one posts all on their own. Maybe I should start another blog where I can gripe about him… mmm, something to think about….

Technically this post should be titled “SHE’S GONNA BLOW!!”, but I figured I would start with an explanation of where I have been before launching into my rant. LOL !!!

Pray for me, jokes aside I am feeling a little emotional and silly and your prayers will mean so much to me.

Miss you all, please don’t forget me. I think of you all everyday!!

PREPARATION & PERSEVERANCE

2007-09-13T08:40:00.001+02:00

When the young couple asked me to photograph their wedding a few months ago I was very uncertain of myself. I have never photographed a wedding and I was terrified of the huge responsibility that was going to be upon me. I had no confidence in myself or my abilities – but this young couple clearly did. There was even a time when I thought I would tell them I couldn’t do it, but I just couldn’t do that to them. And then God said to me that He knows something that I don’t. He said I should trust Him and preserver. So I began a process of preparation. I sat and made lists of all the “must take” pictures and I asked God to help me with the creative ideas of what to take too. I had many ideas and I was beginning to feel more and more confident that I could actually do this. As the day approached I spent more time in prayer about it and felt sure and confident that I would be able to do it. I was no longer nervous or afraid and I was ready. I was equipped with the right tools, and I asked God for energy and creativity and vision. I went to the salon the day of the wedding where the bride was having her hair done and from there to the end of the day it was smooth sailing. I took hundreds of photos and didn’t have time to really do all the shots I wanted to do but I went home feeling exhausted and with a deep sense of satisfaction and happiness.And this spoke to me of how we need to prepare to be part of Gods army. We need to know what He wants us to do and ask Him to strengthen us and spend time studying His word and praying. We must make sure we are equipped for battle and that we don’t run onto the battle field without our sword or without our armor. If we spend time preparing for battle we will be ready and we will be confident and we will know that we will able to do whatever he calls us to do. We will not doubt our strength or abilities. And we will be able to just trust Him.

It also spoke to me of persevering. I could have let my fear get the better of me and I could have decided I was not going to do it. I could have believed the lies I was hearing about myself from the enemy and been convinced that I had no experience in such a thing and therefore I would never be able to do it. I could have given up even before I began. I could have surrendered and never experienced the wonderful feeling of joy and satisfaction that I was feeling. If we allow ourselves to be intimidated we will miss out on the wonderful blessing and rewards God has for us, remember God will not call us do something that is easy. He will call on us t do something we don’t think we can do because then we will have to rely on Him to see us through and we will see His power at work in us and we will give Him all the glory for what He has done. I am so glad that I didn’t give up because I have never done something that I loved and that was so rewarding as that wedding. And that is what the enemy is trying to steal from us. He never wants us to grow in Christ and experience the sense of victory and fulfillment we have when we put our trust in Jesus and complete the task He has called us to, no matter how hard or impossible or huge it may seem to us. Even if it may seem like a small victory to us, it is HUGE in the eyes of heaven and of the enemy. He never wants us to experience them, and he will use every lie and trick in the book to ensure we don’t.

So, preparation is important because it builds us up in faith and in strength, and when we prepare we will be able to persevere, and we will experience the awesome victory and joy that there is in Christ alone.

Prepare and Persevere, God wants to use each one of us. Listen for His voice – and let Him lead you through to victory! You can do anything in Christ who strengthens you.

Anything!!!

Thank you Father for opening this door for me and for leading me. Thank you Lord Jesus for Your encouragement and for never letting me quit. Use me Lord, use me in any way. Thank you for revealing a talent to me that I never realised I had and for allowing me to use it to Your glory. Thank you for the relationships and friendships I have developed through using the gift You gave to me. I praise You Lord for the wonderful lessons I am learning as I grow in You. Let me be always prepared and ready to be used by You whenever You call on me.

I love you Lord!

Amen

WHO COULD HAVE IMAGINED?

2007-09-05T07:10:00.001+02:00

You all will never ever guess what I did on Saturday the 1st of September. Go on, guess… You can’t, well I wouldn’t have been able to either. And I never pictured myself doing something like this either.
Ok, I’ll tell you what I did and put you all out of your misery and suspense. I photographed a wedding. Yes, ME, ‘lil old me. I was the wedding photographer!! And let me tell you – I LOVED it!!! I have never done anything that has been so fulfilling and amazing as that. I was exhausted when I got home – physically, but I felt so deeply satisfied and happy.

About three weeks ago I suddenly realised that I was going to be photographing this wedding and I started to panic – seriously. I didn’t know where to begin or what to do. And I almost chickened out too. But I felt God telling me that this was something He wanted me to do. And that maybe this was something he knew about me that I would never have imagined. Go really works in wonderful ways. So I began to plan and make lists of what pictures would need to be taken, and where and who and and and….

Anyway, I was up early on Saturday morning and met the bride at the salon where she was having her hair done and took some lovely shots there. From there we went to the house where she was getting dressed and I photographed the bridesmaids etc there to. Then off to the church and all the major photos of the ceremony – the vows, the rings, kiss the signing of the register and all that important stuff. And then all the family shots thereafter and all the important things at the reception – the speeches, cutting the cake, first dance and all that. And of course pictures with all the people there.

I cannot wait to share some photos with you all here – as soon as I am able to download them I will do so. And I will definitely do it again – there is no doubt about in my mind about that. As exhausting as it was – it was so fulfilling and special.
I never saw myself photographing a wedding – but clearly God saw it happening, and I am so happy that He did.

WHERE IS YOUR HOLY SPIRIT DOVE?

2007-09-03T20:16:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I sat under the awesome teaching of the one and only Mr RT Kendall. What he spoke about has made me change such a small yet vital part of me. I am going to share with you what he taught us last night – so please, these are not my words, I am simply passing on a message to get you all thinking too – but I will put it in my own words as I don’t have much time.

He spoke about The Sensitivity of The Holy Spirit and he read this portion in Matthew where Jesus gets baptised: As soon as Jesus was baptized, he went up out of the water. At that moment heaven was opened, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and remained with him. We all know that verse quite well, but have you ever noticed the word REMAINED before?? I never really did either.

You see a dove is a shy, easily scared, easily grieved little bird. It is nothing like a pigeon who is belligerent. A dove is afraid of people, a pigeon is not. A dove will fly away if there is a sudden noise, a pigeon wont easily. You can train a pigeon, but not a dove.

Now the Dove symbolizes the Holy Spirit and RT said that the Holy Spirit is also as sensitive as the dove. He is easily wounded and easily grieved. When we feel the presence of the Holy Spirit with us we feel like that is the place where want to stay forever, but it doesn’t last long does it? Why? Because the moment we are curt with our husbands or wives – the dove flies away. The moment we get irritated with the driver on the road ahead of us the dove flies away. The moment we gossip the dove flies away. Jesus never grieved the Holy Spirit, because He only did what God told Him to do. Nothing else, only that.

How do we keep the dove from staying away? Repent. We want the dove to stay with us.

As humans our flesh is week and we will grieve the Holy Spirit many times a day – but instant repentance and seeking forgiveness for the grievance – however small – that has caused Him to leave. If we repent quickly of these things then we will stay in the presence of the Holy Spirit more and more each day.

Now grieving the Holy Spirit does not mean you lose your salvation, but you do lose your anointing and without that anointing we can not be used powerfully by God to advance His kingdom.

If you know that you have done something, anything, to grieve or wound the Holy Spirit – repent. Ask God for His wonderful forgiveness and ask the Holy Spirit to remain with you again. And don’t wait too long to repent after you have done something, because the longer you leave it, the longer you put off receiving your anointing again, and the less God will be able to use you.

MY HOPE

2007-08-16T11:12:00.000+02:00

I realized this morning, that I am putting my hope in events and times and places and people instead of in the Lord. In some things I have placed my hope in Him – but in one big thing I have only half placed my hope in Him. I am waiting for something to happen. Praying and trusting and hoping for something to happen – but instead of placing all my hope in Him I have placed some of it in the day that this event will take place. And I know the time for it is near so I hope ever more on that day – yet this is such a futile and fruitless thing to do.

Isa 40:31: but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (NIV)
Here it is clearly stated. If I hope in Him for this event I will not grow weary and doubtful that it will ever happen. As difficult as this is, I will make start from now to place my Hope in Him alone and not in the actual event.

Thank you Dineen for this lesson. I didn't see it at first, but I get it now.

MY HOPE (Hillsong)
You are righteous, you love justice
And those who honor You will see Your face
I will arise, and lift my eyes to see
Your majesty, Your holiness.
All I am will bless You

My hope is in the name of the Lord
Where my help comes from
You’re my strength my song
My trust is in the name of the Lord
I will sing Your praise
You are faithful

A HEART ABLAZE

2007-08-13T13:00:00.000+02:00

My heart is burning with the desire to know God more. I have experienced His grace in the recent months that has awoken in me a longing after Him and a thirst and a want that cannot be sated – even by Him. I have discovered a well of longing in me that will never be filled and will leave me always seeing more of Him. There is deep crying out to deep that only another longing heart will understand.
He showed me His amazing grace and never in all the years of being a Christian have I experienced such a longing in my soul. It is so difficult to put into words what my heart is feeling. I hope I can get it across in this post.

Psalm 42: 1 ... As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God.
I now can understand the heartfelt yearnings and songs and poems of David. He put into words his longing to know God better. I want to go deeper into His word, to peal away the layers and unfold the mysteries and promises “hidden” there.

I feel like I have found a new love, like I am falling in love for the first time, I want to spend every hour of the day with Him – and every opportunity I have I spend it with Him. He fulfills my desire, my deepest longing.

I pray that your desire for God and for a deeper and real relationship with Him will be awakened in your heart. I pray that you will remember the sweetness of the day you were saved and how natural it was to pursue the lover of your soul.

A.W Tozer said this in his book “The Pursuit of God”
…before a man can seek God, God must first have sought the man…
… there must have been a work of enlightenment done within him; imperfect it may be, but a true work nonetheless, and the secret cause of all desiring and seeking and praying which may follow. We pursue God because, and only because, He has first put an urge within us that spurs us to the pursuit.

We love Him only because He has loved us first. It is not a legalistic thing of spending “so many” minutes / hours a day with Him, or a rigid schedule of prayer and Bible reading, no. It is being in His presence whether you pray or not and whether you read your Bible or not. Just being in His presence will enlighten (open) the eyes of your heart and He will reveal His heart and secrets to you in that place. I pray that God sets your hearts ablaze too, that you can experience His heart as I have been

This is a prayer for you, also from Tozers book:

O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, 'Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.' Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long. In Jesus' name, Amen.

WISDOM AND REVELATION

2007-08-08T15:54:00.000+02:00

Most of you know that I have just recently experienced a time of facing giants and of hardship. But I have to share with you that since I have come through that very difficult time I have been changed on the inside. I have a desire to read my Bible like I have never experienced before. And God is revealing such wonderful things to me in His word.
In fact just yesterday God reveled a piece of scripture to me that I can pray for my husband. I am so excited, and quite amazed. It is a piece of scripture that I have read over a dozen time before yet never really saw it.

It is Eph 1 : 16 – 19 and it reads:
I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in the saints and His incomparably great power for us who believe.

Let me break it down
I have not stopped giving thanks for you – God is saying to me that I must be thankful for the husband that I have and not grumble about silly things. I must give thanks for him!!

I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know Him better. – This is exactly what I want for him – but never quite new how to ask for it. A spirit of wisdom and revelation is exactly it!! I couldn't have put it better myself.

that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you – This is especially awesome because I know what he has been called to. God has shown me the plans He has for him and I cannot wait for it all to happen!! And for him to finally know how powerfully God is going to use him to advance His Kingdom.

I mean, isn't this just amazing?? This is exactly what I so badly want for my husband. Not for me (anymore) but for Gods kingdom and for himself. Wisdom and revelation are the most wonderful things you can ask for. And I just shared this very same verse with that young lady I told you about in my previous post and she was encouraged by it too. I really feel that this is a powerful scripture to pray over a loved one who is not saved.
And, it is a prayer I can pray for my children and for myself so that we can know God better too.

Isn’t God good?

GOD USES EVERY SITUATION TO HIS GLORY

2007-08-02T10:52:00.001+02:00

I think most of you know that my husband is not saved right? Well that said when I began praying for him I set off (unknowingly) on a journey of learning and growth. And I can tell you that I have truly learned so very much about myself that I never would have imagined.

When I started praying, I imagined God would be reckoning with my husband about himself, but instead He has been reckoning with me and gently teaching me how to pray correctly for my husband. How to be submissive and obedient to my husband and how to show him the respect and love he deserves as my husband.

But the most amazing thing that is starting to show in my life through what I have learned on my journey is that God is using what I have learned through him to help other women who are “spiritually unequal” (Thanks Lynn – I love the way you put it on your blog title). I just spent about 20 minutes sharing and talking to a young girl whose husband is not saved, and simply sharing the things I have learned over the years with her. It was the most amazing time and after I shared that famous verse in 1 Peter 3 about how we as wives will win our unbelieving husbands over for Christ by how we live and without opening our mouths, she asked me does she do that? How does she live out that verse? And all I could tell her was ask God to show you. And she flung her arms around my neck and gave me such a hug, that I was almost moved to tears (again). I managed to control my tears and shared a little more with her – but I know I have imparted something to her that will remain in her heart. And THAT is what makes everything I have learned, every tear every prayer and every hurt so worth while.

God is taking my life and using me as an example and I feel so honored and so blessed to be used by him in such a way. And I give Him all the glory for the wonderful things He is doing in my life!

Thank you Jesus

WE SPEAK TO NATIONS - or do we...??

2007-07-31T12:54:00.000+02:00

A week ago a lady who works with me went out to do outreach. They went to little towns surrounding the Netherlands – if I have my facts right. She said it was such an eye opener. They worked on a door to door method and had questioners with questions on to ask the people about the Bible and about Jesus etc. She says that these people don’t any idea about the Bible and that someone said it was just fairy tales. They don’t really know who Jesus is either and the scariest part is that they aren’t bothered by the fact that they have no idea where they are going when they die.

And you know what struck me? It was this: (and I hope I make this clear…)

When we hear about outreaches and about mission work it conjures up pictures of people going to extreme places. Countries where there is starvation, sickness, death, destruction from war. Of far off places where the natives have not heard about Jesus. We imagine working with homeless children, people who live on the streets etc. Right? And this is good. We must as Christians reach out to these people and places. But what about 1st world countries like Europe and all the little towns therein? I was suddenly hit with the thought / revelation that because these countries are so very beautiful and have such steady financial structure and the unemployment rate is very low, the homeless children are not nearly as many as in Africa, there is no destruction or war, that maybe they have been forgotten by the saints. I thought that maybe because these people don’t struggle as in other countries that we take it for granted that they are ok with God too. And maybe the people living there don’t realize how much they need Jesus either because it is well with them?

And I was suddenly aware that God commissioned us to go into ALL nations to reach ALL people and tell them the Good News about Jesus. And maybe in those places where there is suffering you will find Jesus is loved and worshipped far more than in countries where there is no suffering. But I say why wait? Why should we wait for it to go badly in a place before we try to reach them with the Good News? If these people can be made aware of Jesus and His love and forgiveness and sacrifices for them now then greater will be their reward!!

All people in all places and all situations and of every race and colour and tongue should be reached out to. Rich or poor, suffering or prosperous, God is not partial and does not show favouritism. He loves us all – regardless. And He wants us ALL to know and love him too.

Rom 8:19 The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed

THAT’S US!!! We are the sons and daughters of God and the world is the creation. They are waiting for us. They are waiting for something better, and we have it. Jesus Christ. And we need to do whatever it takes to spread His Good News. It starts at home. But if you have to defy comfort and convenience to go into the nations then do it! And if you get sent by God into the 1st world nations then go!

Go and reach the nations and tell them of the Good News.

FINDING PEACE

2007-07-27T18:16:00.000+02:00

OK, so you all know that I have been going through something tough lately. And you have all been so wonderful and your encouraging comments and prayers have really been a comfort. So I just wanted to share with you all that I have recently experienced a deep sense of peace...

I have been wondering how to explain it and I found this wonderful phrase "something settled in my soul" over at Terri's blog. And that was it in a nutshell. Something has settled in my soul and I know deep down that I have made it through the darkest parts and whatever comes in the future I will be able to handle it. I am stronger, wiser and more in touch with my God and my self.

I am at peace and the turmoil that was in my heart has subsided. I have spent a lot of time in prayer and seeking the Lords comforting presence, and I know it is only through him that I have handled things the way I did. I am not sure that I am being very clear or that I am getting my message across here. I just know I am growing spiritually because of this, and the peace of Jesus that passes all understanding which He speaks of in John 14 : 27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

This is the peace that I am experiencing...

YAY! A BOOK GIVE AWAY!

2007-07-19T16:33:00.000+02:00

Karen over at Karen’s Ramblings is having an awesome book give away draw. It looks like a really amazing book and coming from a woman like Karen who really does have the most amazing prophetic dreams – it must be a good read.
Karen is a woman who spends a lot of time at the feet of Jesus, basking in His laight and feeding off his word.
Her blog is really good food for thought as well as a place where I have often found encouragement.

Go on over and check out her blog and put your name in a comment on this post: Karens-book-giveaway to be entered into the draw.

BE THOU MY VISION

2007-07-18T13:29:00.000+02:00

This thing of “vision” is coming through SO powerfully lately – almost daily.

Peter said in his message on Sunday that if I am struggling with something, I have lost my vision. And I can tell you I have been struggling heavily with a burden I thought could never be lifted.
But when I heard this I heard God’s voice almost at the exact same time saying that my heartache and pain and depression was clouding my vision of Him. It was coming between Him and I. Pete also said that anything you focus on more than God is your vision. So if you are not focusing on Him – He is not your vision. I had lost my vision completely and I had sunk so deep into my emotions and I was allowing them to take over. I could actually see the cloud of grey and gloom hanging around me – and I could not see His light.

What a revelation this was for me in the place where I was. Almost drowning in my pain. I went home and asked God to forgive me for allowing these things to get in the way of my vision of Him. And I have been making Him my vision daily since then and it has been the most healing and touching time with God that I can remember. He has lead me down a path of learning to pray for blessing in abundance over the lives of the people who caused me pain and instead of looking back to the darkness I am emerging out of I continue to look forward and upward to Him as my Light and my Vision. And once again this song that left me unable to sing for tears at the Leadership Training Time in Bloemfontein last year is still a song that speaks great volumes to my heart

Be Thou My Vision
Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me save that thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping thy presence my light

Be thou my wisdom and thou my true word
I ever with thee and thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father and I thy true Son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Be thou my battle shield, sword for the fight
Be thou my dignity, thou my delight
Thou my soul's shelter and thou my high tower
Raise thou me heavenward, O power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise
Thou mine inheritance, now and always
Thou and thou only the first in my heart
High King of heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, when the battle is won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's sun
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall
Still be my vision, O ruler of all.

"For without Vision, my people will perish"

HIS PRESENCE

2007-07-09T10:10:00.000+02:00

This morning I was so moved again by my Lord. I have not been in the best place for a few weeks now, and I have been really clinging to Him and holding on to Him and spending time at his feet. This weekend I had time alone at home and I put on my worship cds and just worshipped Him. This morning in my office I put on my music in my office because I have felt lifted up out of the nasty place when in worship and I decided I am not going to listen to anything else today but worship. I know He is with me and I can feel His presence – lately though a little stronger than most times. Then just now a lady came in from the factory to bring me a little bottle to send on an overnight courier – and after she gave me the bottle she just stood quietly next to me. She said that if felt good in my office, the “atmosphere” was pleasant. She said she didn’t want to leave. Eventually she had to leave, but did so reluctantly. Now, my office is not warm or expensively furnished. I have only a small little bar heater which takes ALL day to warm my office. So I know that the warmth and peace she was feeling is God’s presence. When she did leave I was left with tears streaming down my cheeks. He is so amazing and He is with me in such a way that even other people can feel His presence. Imagine what it will be like to be with Him in heaven one day. If His presence is so overwhelming while we are still on earth – how will it feel to be standing in that place in heaven?

This song captures that for me so beautifully.

I CAN ONLY IMAGINE (by Mercy Me)

I can only imagine
what it will be like
when I walk by Your side.

I can only imagine
what my eyes will see
when Your face, is before me.
I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in aw of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine….
I can only imagine.

I can only imagine
when that day comes
and I find myself,
standing in the sun.

I can only imagine
when all I would do
is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in aw of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine

Surrounded by Your glory
what will my heart feel?
Will I dance for You Jesus
or in aw of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence
or to my knees will I fall?
Will I sing hallelujah?
Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine
when all I would do
is forever, forever worship You

I can only imagine

Thank you Lord for being with me in such an awesome way.

THE HARDEST THING

2007-07-03T14:32:00.000+02:00

This forgiveness thing is so much harder than I though it would be. True forgiveness is by far the hardest thing to do. True forgiveness means that once you have forgiven some one for whatever they did that you then do not tell other people of it and you ask God to not to keep a record of that persons wrong either. Because telling of it over and over again only keeps you bitter. Telling of it over and over again makes it harder to let go and forgive the wrong. And for us as Humans, this is so difficult to do because we love to wallow in our pain and tell other people how terribly we are suffering. We want pity and comfort from other people because we feel like we deserve it and we need it. Did Jesus behave that way on the cross? Did He ever tell anyone how badly He was suffering and want people to feel sorry for Him? Even in the garden of Gethsemane He only cried out to God, not to His disciples, and not to gain pity either. Why do we find it so hard to follow His example?
It is so hard and I find myself struggling through this, and I feel so week because I think of Jesus on the cross asking His Father to forgive the people who were killing him. He died so that we all could be forgiven – yet I am struggling with this at this point in my life. It is confusing because I know that I have forgiven, but I still hurt. And I am coming to the realization that we all sustain wounds through life’s battles. We all get hurt and cause hurt. Some of those hurts leave scars and some of them never completely heal up. I know why forgiveness is important it is something that I consider the very foundation of Christianity. It is highlighted over and over again in the Bible – look here: (I found these on “Right To The heart of Women”)

* We’re to love our neighbor as ourselves, including our enemies. Matthew 5:44

*If we want to be forgiven, we must forgive. Matthew 6:12, 24, 15

*Unforgiveness hinders our prayers. Matthew 5:23, 24 0

*We are not to be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. One of the ways we overcome is by forgiving the evil. Romans 12:21

*“Great rewards” and blessing are promised to those who practice forgiveness. Luke 6: 35, Matthew 5:7

*Forgiveness is commanded — seventy times seven — which means always! Matthew 18:21, 22

*Forgiveness illustrates the love of God, making us “children of our Father.” Matthew 5:45

*Forgiveness demonstrates maturity in Christ. Matthew 5:48

*If we are unforgiving, we are no better than our enemies. Matthew 5: 46, 47

*Forgiveness shows discretion and “glory.” Proverbs 19:11

Look at these quotes:

Remember: Those who have something to forgive are the bleeding victims. The only place they will ever find healing and help is at the feet of Jesus. Those who need to ask for forgiveness will need His Divine help to do it. – Rebekah Montgomery

“Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. He who cannot forgive others, breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” - Corrie Ten Boom

“Forgiveness is an act of the will and the will can function regardless of the temperature of the heart.” - Corrie Ten Boom

“Not forgiving is like drinking rat poison and then waiting for the rat to die.” - Anne Lamott from Traveling Mercies

I have forgiven – yes, I know in my heart that I have forgiven. But I am still dealing with the hurt, and I am afraid that the hurt will cause bitterness again. So I am asking God to take captive my thoughts and feelings so that I don’t find myself picking up that unforgiveness again.

And yet my problem seems so small when I compare it to the amount of forgiveness and compassion Jesus showed that day when He was crucified. He forgave and never recalled again or spoke of those He had forgiven. He found His comfort in God. I think that is such an amazing example to follow and I am going to try harder to follow that example and cry out to Jesus in my times of fear and pain – and not to people.

So in conclusion, forgiveness is never easy, but it is vitally necessary. Without it we would not have eternal life. We need to forgive to be forgiven and to be set free from the burdens of bitterness and grief and pain. Jesus never told us that life as a Christian would ever be easy, but He did say He would be there with us every step of the way – and that is why He sent us His Spirit – and it is because of His Spirit who was sent to help us that we can overcome all things, and forgive even the hardest things. He did it, and that means we can do it too.

BRRRRRRRR

2007-06-27T10:04:00.000+02:00

It has snowed in JHB, here are some pictures of the areas in JHB that had snow last night. We had rain last night and I live in the last town before you hit Midrand and today it is freezing outside. My husband works in Roodepoort and when he got there this morning he phoned me very excited to tell me there was snow everywhere!! People who live that side and drive here to work had cars covered in snow! Places like Alberton, Auckland Park, Germiston – the whole of JHB had snow!! Check out theses pictures.

My sister says they had about 5cm of snow on their plot!! She says it is SO beautiful and she didn't want to go to work, she wanted to stay in her winter wonderland for a while. LOL!!

I ROCK!!!

2007-06-26T09:43:00.000+02:00

According to my sister that is, so much so that she gave me this award!! She thinks I rock, which to me is totally awesome!!! Cause I think she rocks!! So, I give this award right back to you too – only you can call it “The Rockin Sister” award.

Thanks my sweet sis, you made my day with this award, but technically this award should go to God, cause without Him I would not be able to deal with things the way I do. It is only through His agape love that I am able to love my boys and treat their mom like family – to use your words. I simply see it like this: She has no money, she misses her kids and she is on all kinds of medication too. So why make things worse? And, those boys never asked for a divorce or for a step mom or even to be here – they are the innocent ones and they deserve to be happy. And if I can make them happy, then I am happy.

But if not for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – none of this would have worked out this way. It is only because of His wisdom and guidance that it did. And I give ALL glory to Him!!

He is my ROCK!!

And now I get to nominate some bloggers too, so here goes – in no particular order:

Gail at Blessed Be Your Name
This is one very special lady. She is a Christian and an inspiration. She doesn’t allow anything to stand in the way of her faith and growing.

Bunny Girl at Razors Edge Of Insanity
This lady is very talented. She writes the most amazing poetry and allows us to see into her heart. She too is a Christian and she is clings to Jesus in her journey of growth.. Her honesty and openness is refreshing and thought provoking.

Dawn Dawn at Dawn-Unplugged
Yes, I know she got this from Angel too, but this is a lady who totally Rocks!! She is a South Affie living in New Jersey and she is a HUGE inspiration to me. She faces life head-on and never backs down from a challenge. She is a precious friend and has become an important person in my life.

Karen at Karen's Ramblings
This lady is a powerful prayer. She spends a lot of time in God’s throne room and even though she is far away I can always feel it when she is praying for me too. She is being used by God – more than I think she realizes and her dreams and visions are always so amazing. There is always something there for me to learn from – and very often a message just for me.

Updated to say:

Mommy Darling sent me the following e-mail and asked me to please post it. This is for me, Angel, Genny, Dawn and even for Madam or Sister C as she is known on Angels blog. Ladies, this is for you from Mommy Darling (get your tissues out girls):

If I could give awards I would give them to -

Angel for being an amazing eldest sibling and a very precious daughter – in short I would give her A ROCKIN ANGEL AWARD!

Then I would give Spookie an award for being an amazing daughter and keeping so faithful - her life is a witness of her love for Jesus – to you sweetest child –
A ROCKIN WARRIOR AWARD!

Then to Genny – sweet Gen – so loyal, so tough, so true always! Thank you for being so precious. A TRUE FOREVER FRIEND AWARD!

To dearest Dawn Unplugged – my award to you would be THE BIGGEST HEART OF LOVE AWARD!

Because sister C does not blog does not mean I don’t want her to have STRONGEST AND BRAVEST CHICK AWARD!

You are all amazing women and I am honoured that you have touched my life!
As ever,
MOM

And to you Mommy Darling, I know all the girls would agree with me, you totally get the ROCKIN -EST MOM, FRIEND, MENTOR, SUPA CHICK AWARD!!

Love you too - SO much!!!

THIS IS MY VERSION OF ME!! LOL!!

2007-06-25T10:32:00.000+02:00

Check out this web site blessthischick it's so much fun! You create your own little icon of you with all the goodies that are provided and then you have it e-mailed to your e-mail address! I found it over at Karen's blog, and decided I had to try it out too.

I think it's just really cute!

THIS IS FOR YOU ANGEL

2007-06-22T14:37:00.000+02:00

I told you I would put up some Patrick Dempsey pictures for you, remember? Well here they are (Tada!!!). I couldn't find any of him "topless" but I can assure you he is very nicely built too. If I had more time I would've surely found some of those - maar nou ja!

And of course Matthew McHONEY, he is still my favourite favourite - better by far than Brad... (heh heh). I think his best attribute is his voice and his accent - I could listen to him aaallllll day.

Mm! Liewe Jesus het beslis die volle nege maande op die twee gewerk nê!!

THANK YOU

2007-06-19T10:08:00.000+02:00

Look at my beautiful new blog!!! My amazing sister Angel did this for me. She changed her blog and I asked if she could do mine for me too and she was happy to help. (By help I mean do everything for me….)
I chose a picture and she did the rest. Isn’t she just SO clever?
Angel, I love this new look! It is so pretty. No, not pretty – GAWJISSSSSS (new word I learned from you - he he)
Thank you for doing this for me, I really needed a bit of a change. And the blue roses are just so me – you were spot on there. I am SO happy with this new look and other people have told me it is beautiful too!

You are the world’s bestest sister eva

Love you madly!!

GIANT SLAYER

2007-06-13T13:53:00.000+02:00

1 Sam 17 v 47: All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or by spear that the Lord saves; for the battle is the Lords, and he will give all of you into our hands

No matter how big my “Goliath” may seem to me – God is SO much bigger and so much greater than anything I may be facing. The Battle is the Lords!! Plain ans simple. It has already been won for me. I will never lose my faith in Him for He has not once left me.

Like that song previously posted said about Him being there, when David faced Goliath. David must have been scared to death!!! But he was strong and he had power because he knew GOD WAS WITH HIM. And Abraham also knew that God had a reason and a purpose for everything and even as he and Isaac were going the place to offer a sacrifice and Isaac asked where the ram was Abraham told him God would provide for them. He knew that he knew that he KNEW in his heart of hearts that God would not forsake him.

I know that all things work together for the glory of God and when I face trials of many kinds and my faith is tested it develops perseverance (James 1v3). And perseverance must finish it's work so that I will be mature and complete and not lacking anything. I may not understand why things happen – but I know that I know that I KNOW that Greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world.

Thank You Father for being there for me through everything. You are the Giant Slayer in me, and You are my comfort.
Amen

YOU'RE MY LITTLE GIRL

2007-06-13T07:42:00.000+02:00

The ones you love they let you down,
and I want you to know that I’m sorry.
The choices that they made were wrong,
you were caught in the middle and I’m sorry.

So when the anger and the pain,
get the best of you,
I know it seems like your all alone
but I am feeling it too.

Cause you're my little girl
you're the one that I created.
No one in this world could ever be like you.
When you're crying in the night,
all you need to do is call me
and I’ll be there for you
cause you're my little girl.

When you're looking in the mirror
I hope you're liking what you see.
Cause no matter what you're feeling
you're perfect to me.

Cause I see you as a child
blameless in my sight.
Just spend some time with me
and I’ll make everything alright.

Cause you're my little girl
you're the one that I created.
No one in this world could ever be like you.
When you're crying in the night,
all you need to do is call me
and I’ll be there for you
cause you're my little girl.

And I know you don't deserve
what you've bee through.
And I know it doesn't seem fair.
And I know that there are times you
think you're alone,
but you've got to know that I will be there.

Cause you're my little girl
you're the one that I created.
No one in this world could ever be like you.
When you're crying in the night,
all you need to do is call me
and I’ll be there for you
cause you're my little girl.

YOU WERE THERE...

2007-06-04T07:55:00.000+02:00

I wonder how it must have felt
when David stood to face Goliath on that hill.
I imagine that he shook with all his might
till You took his hand and held on tight

Cause You were there, You were there
in the midst of dangers snare.
You were there, You were there – always.
You were there, when the hardest fight seemed so out of reach.
Oh You were there, You were always there
You were always there…

So there he stood upon that hill.
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill.
But God in all His sovereignty had bigger plans,
and just in time He brought the ram.

Cause You were there, You were there
in the midst the unclear.
You were there, You were there – always.
You were there, when things seemed to not make sense.
Oh You were there, You were always there
You were always there!

Haven’t I learned that my ways
aren’t as high as Yours are?
And You alone keep the universe from crumbling into dust.
You are God and though we would not have understood You,

There You were…

Hanging blameless on a cross.
You would rather die, than leave us in the dark.
Every moment, every planned coincidence
just all made sense, with Your last breath.
You were there, You were there
during history’s darkest hour.
You were there, You were there – always.

You were the victor in the king!
You were the power in David’s sling!
You were the calm in Abraham!

You are the God who understands!
You are the strength when we have none!
You are the living Holy one!

You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb Of God!!
(by Avalon)

When I look back on the last six months of my life and what I have come through, when I faced my Goliath. When things were so unclear and so scary. When I was in the midst of danger - He was there. He was there through it all. He was my power, my calm and my strength and He is my victory. I look back and I can see where my God carried me through.

He was ALWAYS there.

VICTORY - BY THE POWER OF JESUS' NAME!

2007-05-31T10:21:00.000+02:00

V - I - C
V - I - C
V - I - C - T - O - R – Y
VICTORY, VICTORY IS OUR CRY !!!
V - I - C - T - O - R – Y !!

Once again I am just so blown away by God’s faithfulness and by His awesome power! This week I experienced His power and the power of prayer so powerfully that I feel like I am just about ready to burst!

We had the most awesome victory over lies and deception and the enemy – The Father of Lies that I can just picture him tucking tail and running for cover. And feeling like such a fool for thinking he could ever prevail!

I cannot go into detail, but I can say I am praising him with tears and laughter and joy and testimony because of what He did this week. And all Glory goes to Him. He is the all knowing, all powerful, ever present God and I will never stop praising Him.

Thank You Jesus for the territory we claimed in Your Mighty Name this week. Thank You Holy Spirit for giving strength, courage, and power of the supernatural kind when it was needed most. Thank You Father for Your unfailing love and for Your forgiveness – the Agape love with which we are able to love even our enemies. And Your Agape love which allows us to forgive even the hardest things.

I am so amazed and so humbled by the wonderful POWERFUL victory that we took in His name. And I can only give Him all the glory for no one else is worthy of Glory and Honour and Praise!

Praise You Jesus, Son of God,
King and Kings,
And Lord of ALL!!!!

HALELUJAH !!!!!!
(yes I am shouting that!!)

HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL

2007-05-21T14:48:00.000+02:00

Once again I was dragged before the image of myself and I was shown again that I am clothed in filthy rags...

Last weekend a group of ladies from my church and other relating churches got together for a wonderful weekend called “Cherish, You are remarkable” and I received such clear confirmation from the Lord there about my future and I was so excited and so moved by it all that I didn’t even realize that I was allowing myself to be attacked.

Some stuff happened on Sunday and I immediately allowed my mind and my heart to stand wide open to attack – for a whole week this went on. Right up until Thursday evening. And even then I didn’t realize that I was being attacked. Then yesterday God showed me and He said that if anyone is a threat to my happiness it was ME!!

Me without faith is deadly.

I hope this makes sense, but basically He took what I was seeing as the problem and turned it right over so that the spotlight fell on me and I could see I was the problem.

You see I have asked for His protection of my family and my husband and I have given my children and my husband and my family and my marriage over into His hands – but did I trust Him to do what I had asked? Hmpf! No way!! I freaked out and panicked and left my heart and my mind completely unprotected and open to a huge spiritual attack.

You see fear is the dark room where negativity is developed. And I was completely overcome with fear and confusion. It was so silly actually, but I let it happen because of my lack of faith. And last night I had to ask God to forgive me for not believing in Him. And for forgetting that He will not allow any harm to come to me or any of my family.

How human we are, how insignificant and silly we are. Thank God that when we have no faith He remains faithful – eternally.
Father Your word says that I have not been given a spirit of fear but a Spirit of Power. Teach me Lord how to keep walking in Your light and with You. For it is only in You that I can overcome ALL things. Keep my mind sharp Lord. Give me wisdom and discernment to know when I am facing a full on attack from the enemy so that I can call on you in those times and not sink into a hole of fear and darkness and confusion. I never want to be blind sided like that again Lord. I want to be always aware and ready to raise up my shield and ward off any attack that the enemy may bring.

Thank you for never leaving me when my faith was weak. Thank you for showing me the truth Lord and help me Lord to never forget what I have learned here today.

MY MOM...

2007-05-11T11:09:00.000+02:00

When I think of a Mother, my Mother I picture a woman who nurtures and loves. She longs to protect her children from the world, yet she is always training them to one day let go. She loves tenderly with hugs or a gentle touch, a little text message telling how much she loves and how proud she is. A warm welcoming home that will always be home to a daughter no matter how old she is or how long she has lived in her own home. Someone always smiling and laughing. She has a heart vast and glorious and her eyes reflect a love that is measureless, and unconditional when you take the time to look into them. And in her eyes you will see grace and strength. She is a woman who clings to Jesus, with a heart enlarged by all she has endured with and through her children. Sometimes dismissed and often judged and deeply wounded by a careless word. Yet her heart continues to love, to grow, to want only happiness for her precious children. She forgives all, and encourages forgiveness. She inspires her children to become people of integrity and virtue. She is Mother, she is Mom, Mamma, Moeder, Mum. She is Granny, Grandma, Nanna, Oumie. She embodies all that is life and she gives life. She is strong and mild, fierce and gentle. She is the heart of Christ, the Crown of Creation, and she’s mine!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MOM!

I LOVE YOU

TAGGED FOR 7 THINGS

2007-05-08T13:09:00.000+02:00

Kim over at Can You Hear Me? has tagged me to do this meme. I thought it was a good one to do and I haven't done a meme for so long that I got right into it!! But first here are the rules:

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. You need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they have been tagged and to read your blog!

Here is the meme:

7 things about me

1. I am a step mom to two boys, They live with my husband and I and visit with their mom a few times through the year.

2. I have a longing in my heart, soul, and the very deepest part of me to have another baby. A little girl. I try not to think about it too much cause I know we can’t have another baby now, but the longing is there for a little pink bundle.

3. The last time I felt broody I got a kitten from my Husband and it worked like a charm!! Now we are not allowed to have pets where we are staying so will just have to deal with this differently.

4. 7 is my favourite number!!!

5. I almost always have a sore neck from working on the computer all day long for 10 years now. It’s starting to be quite a nuisance

6. I love reading and just recently joined my churches book club. I love it! I will get to host it about once a year and we get together once a month and I am reading “Captivating” by Stasi & John Eldredge as well as “The Pleasures of God” by John Piper, both are amazing and I definitely recommend them.

7. I wish I could be a stay at home mom. That way I would be able to be there for my kiddos and they would not have to go to aftercare. I would be able to help them with homework and activities and just spend more time with them. I know they would benefit from it as much as I would.

I tag Angel, NMOTB, Bunny Girl, Karen, Gail, Terri and Dawn!!

Have fun Gals!!!

MY RIGHTEOSNESS IS AS FILTHY RAGS

2007-05-02T16:51:00.000+02:00

God keeps me humble and I am so grateful that He does. It is SO easy to be a “good Christian” in a place where your faith never gets challenged. Like at church meetings or at work, I know that for a lot of people the work place is where you get challenged the most, but for me home is the place I face the most challenges.
Very often I find myself judging family members on their behavior or the things the say or the way they react in certain situations and I find myself imagining I am better than them because I am saved. I get puffed up with self righteousness and with what I “know” to be right.

Thank God I am saved because the moment I find myself doing this He cuts me the heart immediately and I am forced (in a good way) to ask forgiveness. Who am I compared to Him, what is my righteousness when compared to His. He reminds me that we are all the same in His eyes. He doesn’t see race or colour or stature or wealth. He doesn’t see male or female – He sees our hearts and our minds and we are all wicked in those places. We may put up a “front” to the world – but God knows us so intimately He knows what goes on inside. He sees you crying and broken on the inside while the world sees you laughing and smiling on the outside. He sees your hate and anger and bitterness on the inside while the world sees your loving and gentle ways on the outside. But we can only hide our true selves from the world for so long because what is in the heart eventually flows from the mouth anyway.

The thing is God sees what matters. In His eyes we are all equal. Who am I to think I am better than anyone else? Who am I to think I am more righteous than someone else?

Thank you Jesus for keeping me humble. Help me Father not judge, lest I be judged. I never want to come across as self righteous or proud, I want Your love, peace and joy to fill my heart and overflow so that, that will be what the world sees.
Keep me on my knees Lord, and let the righteousness I have in You be the righteousness the world sees – not my own Self Righteousness.
In Jesus’ name
Amen

WHAT IS THE WORLD GOING TO DO

2007-04-24T10:59:00.000+02:00

I hate pornography. I wish there was no such thing! It destroys lives and families. It tempts our men to sin and lust. It creates rifts and divides among couples.

People need to know what the Word says. Jesus said you cannot love Him but hate your brother – then you don’t love Him! If you are angry at your brother you have already committed murder in your heart. If you look on another person with lust you have already committed adultery in your heart!!

Jesus looks at your heart! What goes on in there is what counts to Him – not your actions!! To the world actions speak louder than anything – but to God your heart reveals the real you.

“The worth and excellency of a soul is to be measured by the object of its love” Henry Scougal

What is the object of your hearts love? Is it money? Is it sex? Is it power? Or is it Jesus?

You can hide what is in your heart from the world – for a time…..

But you ca NEVER hide what is in your heart from God. He is the Omniscient, Omnipotent and Omnipresent – all knowing, all powerful, ever present God. Even the dark is like daylight to Him.

Pornography is an evil trick of the devil. Convincing you its ok because you are only watching. When you watch pornography you may as well invite another person physically into your bedroom, because your are letting them into your mind and heart. Don’t allow satan to trick you by telling you the World says it’s ok!! By God’s standards it is not ok, it is immoral and wrong. Why do you think He destroyed Sodom and Gomorra? They were an evil, immoral people. Thank God he sent Jesus to die for our sins, because I shudder to imagine what kind of wrath He would rain down on us today for the way we live.

I have such a righteous anger within me today because of this evil, horrible, disease that man has made. Sex is supposed to be an intimate, personal and beautiful thing between to MARRIED not “consenting” people. And the World has turned it into a dirty, sordid, addictive, drug. Women are used as sex symbols to sell everything!

We need to educate our children against this worldly way of looking at sex. Teach them that Pornography is wrong, it is evil. Teach them God’s way and teach them that Jesus is the only way. And true happiness can only be found in Him, by His standards. Let’s not allow this filth to reach our children. Protect them and raise them under God.

Let Jesus be the object of your hearts love!!!!

ARE YOU READY?

2007-04-19T14:24:00.000+02:00

Last night at our prayer meeting, our Elder read a passage from a devotional book – I cannot remember the books title or author right now, it was about being ready for God. But one line that stood out for me more than anything else was this

“Jesus expects to use us the same way God used him”

And you know, we can expect to be used. We must not disqualify ourselves because of our circumstances, whatever they are. God can use us right where we are, right now. And we need to be ready and expectant of it. We need to be faithful in the very little we have now and then we will be able to be faithful with much later.
We can’t have the attitude of “wait till I make my million Lord – watch me work for you then.” Or “Wait till I have my own house Lord, then I can do what I want to do for you.”
No, God is watching us now, and He can and wants to use us now.

Jesus expects to use you, the same way God used Him, so be expectant, be open and know that God doesn’t call the equipped. He equips the called. We are all equipped and qualified by Him. We are all part of the Royal Priesthood because of Him. So be expectant, be ready so that when God says to you “go” then you can go without hesitation.

Imagine an athlete training for a race. He works hard training and getting his body into shape and his muscles stretched and supple. Just before the race starts he is there behind the starting line ready, and waiting and keeping his muscles warmed up so that when the official says the word and he can get into his starting block he knows that when the gun goes off or the official says GO he can go with all his might and he can finish strong too.

We are like that athlete and our training is our quiet time and our prayer time and no matter how long we may have to train we must keep training and waiting behind that start line so that when God says we can move into the starting block and when He tells us to go we are ready and well trained to GO and to finish strong.

So, be expectant and keep training, because when God tells you to GO, you want to be able to GO!!!

TAKE YOUR MARK, GET SET...
GO!!!!

I SURRENDER...

2007-04-18T16:34:00.000+02:00

HERE WITH ME – by Mercy Me

I long for Your embrace, every single day.
To meet You in this place and see You face to face
Will You show me, reveal Yourself to me?
Because of Your mercy, I fall down on my knees!

And I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I’m lost within Your beauty.
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to Your love

You’re everywhere I go, I am not alone.
You call me as Your own to know You and be known
You are Holy, and I fall down on my knees

And I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty.
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to Your love

I surrender to Your Grace
I surrender to the one who took my place

And I can feel Your presence here with me
Suddenly I’m lost within your beauty.
Caught up in the wonder of Your touch
Here in this moment I surrender to Your love

This song has been in my heart all day!!

I will really try sometime to get to your blogs - just too busy

I WANNA BE USED BY YOU….

2007-04-17T14:05:00.000+02:00

This morning I woke up with the Betty Boop song in my head but instead of the words going “I wanna be loved by you…” I was singing “I wanna be used by You…” and that was exactly my prayer, to be used by the Lord. I want Him to use me in every way He can and wants to.
I want to be a voice, a light, a servant – everything just for Him – boop boop beedoop, Ooh!

Here I am Lord – send (use) me!

A CLEAN HEART AND A RIGHT SPIRIT

2007-04-16T07:18:00.000+02:00

I have been backsliding a lately, I have been slipping back into old ways and thought patterns. I was ashamed, not before man - but before God. This weekend again I slipped back without even a thought of what I was doing. And the whole time afterwards I felt marked, dirty and unclean. I felt embarrassed at losing myself to worldly things as I did - especially as a Christian who wants to live life according to God's ways. Now I know that to most people having a few drinks and getting a little drunk now and then is not that serious, maybe even something that is acceptable. The thing is though, I have been convicted by the Holy Spirit (quite a long time ago) regarding alcohol and I know that the Bible says one should not get drunk on wine (alcohol) but on the Spirit of God (I am not exactly sure of the wording there). And I am not writing this post to get sympathy or to get an "it's ok" from anyone. I am writing this because it has been on my heart and because I feel led by the Spirit to share this with you. Maybe there is someone who needs to hear this - I don't know what God's reasons are for asking me to write this testimony.
All I know is last night I could not sleep until I had gone on my knees before my God and asked Him to forgive me for slipping back, to create in me a clean heart (the prayer David prayed) and to strengthen me against temptation. And I know that He has heard my prayer and forgiven me and cleansed me. And I know that I need not justify or explaine myself to anyone but God - I just feel that as a person who holds her faith and her God so high in her life, and to whom other people often look for an example, I have not been a very good one lately. I know we all fall short and make mistakes, and I am so thankful that I have a God who loves me no matter what and who has forgiven me and cleansed me.

I guess what I am trying to say is, everyone has a moment where they slip back into old ways or thoughts, and for everyone it is something different. What is so amazing is the forgiveness we already have in Jesus, He loves and forgives us no matter what. And for that I am grateful. Eternally grateful.

I feel like I am just babbling senselessly here so I will stop now, but I urge you if you are feeling convicted in your heart because of something you did which you know is not right before the Lord (remembering there is no in between, no grey area in God's eyes) then call on Him right now for forgiveness and ask him to create a clean heart in you too. He will forgive you - I can promise you that!

IMAGINE HAVING TEA WITH JESUS

2007-04-12T09:19:00.000+02:00

The last few days one of the radio stations have been having this competition on, where you could win an afternoon of “Tea with the President” or some or other politician.
And they start by saying “imagine having tea with so and so”, or “sitting down to dinner with such and such”. And the I know that one of the people you could have tea with is Mandela, in fact he is there biggest “promotion” point in this competition. And the one DJ was saying how it would be so wonderful to just sit with Mandela – even if they didn’t speak to each other, just to sit with him and be with him would be just so amazing. And my first thought was, “Imagine having tea with Jesus!” for me to be able to just sit with Jesus and bask in His love and just be with Him – even if we didn’t speak, that to me would be like becoming all I ever dreamed of becoming, going everyplace I ever dreamed of going and knowing everything I have only dreamed of knowing.
I can just see Him and I sitting in a garden at a pretty with a beautiful porcelain tea set and the yummiest nibbly things you can imagine, but none of that would matter - because He would be there.
I would be sitting right beside Him – at His feet even or maybe on His lap, like alittle girl with her daddy. And He wouldn’t mind because He loves me so much. And we wouldn’t discuss politics, in fact conversation as we know it wouldn’t be necessary because He would speak straight to my heart. Imagine having tea with Jesus, just for a minute – wherever you are right now, imagine it. Wouldn’t that just be awesome?

You see people place their hope and faith in people and they are bound to be disappointed because people mess up, no exceptions. And when I heard this DJ dreaming about having tea with Mandela – which, yes, probably would be great, I mean I admire Mandela a lot too, I was saddened that so many people would rather spend time with earthly things than with the Lord. Be it in prayer, or worship or even just in sitting with Him quietly while you read your Bible or meditate on a verse or admire His glorious creation. It made me sad that most people get excited about other people instead of getting excited about Jesus – the only one who will never disappoint you or let you down.

So I challenge you again, imagine just for a moment having tea on a warm sunny afternoon with Jesus, your Saviour.

AN AWARD - FOR ME!!!

2007-04-11T07:40:00.000+02:00

I have been so very honored these past few days. Dawn nominated me for the Thinking Blogger Award, which I saw over the long weekend. And this morning I saw that Karen nominated me too!! I have been so humbled by these nominations and I feel so happy and proud at the same time. Both these ladies brought tears to my eyes with their wonderful nominations. This is my first ever blog award of any kind - and I am SO thrilled that it is the Thinking Blogger award!
Thank you Dawn and Karen, I truly am moved by this award from you. It means alot to me. I will now attempt to follow the instructions for this and nominate some bloggers myself.

Now, here's the rules:

ONE:
If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to 5 blogs that you would consider worthy of this award.

TWO:

Link to This post so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.

THREE:
Optional - Proudly display the 'Thinking Blogger Award' with a link to the post that you wrote. Here is an alternative Silver version if Gold doesn't fit your blog.

And I nominate the following bloggers:

Gail - from Blessed Be Thy Name.

Like me she is a worshipper at heart - and it comes through in her writing. Her worshippers heart comes through in the way she lives. One day she and I will go and see Matt Redman together!!

Lily - from Lily's Love Story.

She is a very strong young woman. Stronger than she realises, and I am very happy that the Lord led me to her precious blog. Her honesty in her writing is sometimes heart wrenching, but as she grows she grows stronger in her faith and closer to the Lord

Lynn - from Spiritually Unequal Marriage

This lady has been such an encouragement and consolation to me. Her constant prayers and love and encouragement has given me a renewed strength in Christ. I know as she does that God has a dream for each marriage and because of her I ma seeking out God's dream for my marriage.

Debra - from Soul Reflections

This is a lady with a deep rooted faith and a love for the Lord. Her posts often bring me a sense of peace. And her comments also encourage and bring peace. She brings both laughter and tears to my day with her posts.

Diane - from Praying For Your Prodigal

This is a woman of prayer. I don't know what else to say about her. She prays constantly for her prodigals as well as for those of others. I am always encouraged when I know she is praying with me knowing what it is like to pray for a prodigal.

Then, to change the subject just a little....

Today is my 9th anniversary!!!

Happy and I are married 9 years today. I must say when we got married, 10 years seemed like a lifetime away - and yet here we are at 9 years and it doesn't feel like 9 years. I am happy and he still makes me laugh and gives me butterflies in my tummy.

9 years is the Pottery anniversary. So I am taking this opportunity to take the clay that is my marriage and place in the Potters Hands.

Lord Jesus, take my marriage and begin to form it and mold it into the dream you have for us. Mold me Lord to be the wife who would be a crown to her husband and a loving gentle mother. Thank you Father for my husband. He loves me passionately and with all he has and I know it and see it in his eyes. Continue to bless our marriage Lord and keep the cords of love that bind us together strong and tight.

In Jesus name

Amen.

SUNDAY'S ON THE WAY...

2007-04-10T08:23:00.000+02:00

I wanted to post this on Saturday – but I had this saved on my office computer so I couldn’t. But anyway, it still follows on from what I posted last week.

Also written by Carmen – this paints a pretty vivid picture….

SUNDAY’S ON THE WAY
The demons were planning on
having a party one night
Yea they were.
They got beer, Jack Daniels, some pretzels
a little red wine and some white.
They were celebrating how they crucified
Christ on that tree.

But Satan – the snake himself
wasn’t so at ease.
Well he took his crooked finger and
he dialed the phone by his bed
Yea he did.
To call an old faithful friend who’d know
for sure if is He was dead.
He said “Grave, Grave tell me,
did my plan fail?”
Old Grave just laughed and said
“Oh man. The dude is dead as nails.”

On Friday night they crucified the Lord on Calvary
But He said “Don’t dread, in 3 days
I’m gonna live again, you’ll see.”
When problems try to bury you
and make it hard to pray
it may seem like Friday night….
But Sunday’s on the way!

A tranquiliser and a horror flick
could not calm Satan’s fear.
So Saturday night he calls up the Grave
scared of what he’d hear.
“Hey Grave, what’s goin on?”
Grave said “Man look, you’ve called me twice.
And I’ll tell you one more again boss,
the Jew’s on ice.”

The devil said “Hey Grave, do you remember
when old Lazarus was in his grave?
You see, everything was cool, but then four days later
boom – old Lazarus he was raised.
Now this Jesus He is much more trouble than
anyone has ever been to me – and look Grave
He’s got ol’ devil shook, cause this man said He
only gonna be dead for three.”

On Friday night they crucified the Lord on Calvary
But He said “Don’t dread, in 3 days
I’m gonna live again, you’ll see.”
When problems try to bury you
and make it hard to pray
it may seem like Friday night….
But Sunday’s on the way!

Sunday morning Satan woke with a jump
ready to blow a fuse.
He was shaking from the tips of his pointed ears
to the toes of his pointy shoes.
He said “Grave tell me is He alive? I don’t
wanna lose my neck.”
And Grave said “Your evilness, maintain your cool
Devil – you are a wreck!”
Grave said “Cool your jets Big D, my sting is still
in tact. You see Jesus is dead forever, take it from
the Grave brother – He ain’t never coming back. So just
ummm, mellow out man, just go drink up or shoot up
but look devil, just leave old grave alone.
Right homey, I’ll catch you la…
La….
Oh no…
OH NO!
OH NOOOOOOO!!!!!!
OH NO!!!
SOMEBODY’S MESSING WITH THE STONE!!!!!

Then the stone was rolled away
and it bounced a time or two.
And an angel stepped inside and said
“Yo, I’m Gabriel, who are you?
If you’re wondering where the Lord is at this very hour,
I tell you He’s alive and well with RESURRECTION POWER!!!!”

On Friday night they crucified the Lord on Calvary
But He said “Don’t dread” He said “In 3 days
you can even count them boys,
I’m gonna be King again, you’ll see!”
When problems try to bury you
and make it hard to pray.
It may seem like Friday night….
but I said Sunday…
I’m here to tell you Sunday..
The devil hates Sunday -
Cause Jesus rose from the grave
on a Sunday Morning

And Sunday is here to stay!!

I trust you all had a very blessed and special Easter. Remembering not only that Jesus died for us – but more importantly that He ROSE from the grave. He conquered sin and death, and that is why we will have life everlasting with Him!!

Praise the Lord!!

THIS BLOOD...

2007-04-04T13:55:00.000+02:00

Violently they grabbed his arms
As they tightly strapped each wrist
With a hellish look, stood a strong armed soldier
Whip clenched in his fist

Laced with chips of bone they beat him hard
From his shoulders to his feet
And it sliced right through his olive skin
Just like razors through a sheet
Countless times the blood splattered
As each inhuman lash was given
Several times his knees gave way
As his flesh just hung in ribbons

And surprisingly he turned his head
Though the words he used were few.
A soldier’s face turned pale when he said
“This blood is for you.”

Uncaringly they tossed a garment
Across his weakened form
And his blood pressure fell deathly low
As the crowds began to swarm
They forced him to carry his cross uphill
As his face they punched and smacked
While the splinters from the criss-cross beam
Dug deep into his back

Through lack of sleep and dehydration
His tongue began to swell
And weakened by his loss of blood
This prophet teacher fell
When he did some blood splattered
On a man named Simon’s shoe
And as he bent to wipe if off
The prophet looked and said
“Simon, this blood is for you.”

Then they pounded a spike through
The bones in his wrists
Bursting arteries and veins
And as they dropped the cross
Into the hole they’d dug
His body convulsed with pain
Through anguish and torment
That never a soul shall find
He tilts his face towards heaven
With full control of his mind

With more love than any human heard
Before that time or since
He made a statement that to this day
Makes the strongest skeptic wince

He cried “Father God Forgive them,
For they know not what they do!”
And as he gave his life for those
Lost in sin, he was saying:
“This blood is for you.”
This blood can save the soul
Heal the sick, mend the heart
This blood can give you access
To the very throne of God
And it still can go the distance
Through the pain to where you are
This blood is for you….

The atoning, cleansing blood of the lamb

I cannot think of the day Jesus died for me without getting tears in my eyes, not because he died (because I know he lives!!), but because he suffered, was humiliated, spat on, mocked and nailed to a cross for me I am so not worthy of such a sacrifice. My heart is wicked, as any human beings is - yet Jesus, who's heart was without spot or blemish went meekly as a lamb to the cross for me. It just humbles me every time I think about it. This song by Carmen is the song that led to my salvation many, many years ago - I pray that these words will stir in your heart the amazing revelation of the sacrifice made for you too.

To everyblogger reading this today - may you have a blessed Easter and may you truly feel the love of Jesus in your life today because of what he did that day on the cross for you too.

Thank you Jesus for the blood you shed for my sins. That I may have everlasting life with you.

FORCES OF NATURE

2007-03-20T08:28:00.000+02:00

This is waht Durban beach front looks like now after the last two days of "High Tide" which was apparently caused by the earth, sun and moon being in alignment, which doesn't happen either. So the gravitaional pull was much stronger hence the destruction on the beach front. These high tides hit from Port Elizabeth right through to Maputo.

STILL AROUND

2007-03-15T16:34:00.000+02:00

I'm still around, just in a bit of a frump right now. I have nothing wonderful or inspirational to share with you at this point. I just don't feel very inspirational. From what I can see alot of bloggerville has gone quiet. I think I should take a break from blogging for a while.

It just started raining! YIPPEE! We really need it. It's autumn and it has been so terribly hot. Things definitely are not cooling down here and the country is VERY dry. I hope it rains for a coupla days!

That's all folks!

HOLD ON!!!

2007-03-08T16:17:00.000+02:00

HANG IN THERE BLOGGERS
THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST HERE!!

THEN YOU CAN HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS

OR DO A BIT OF GARDENING...

MAYBE OVERDO IT A LITTLE (I HOPE NOT!)

OR MAYBE JUST RELAX WITH LOVED ONES.

just one day to go!!!

THANK YOU!!!

2007-03-05T13:36:00.000+02:00

I had the most wonderful birthday weekend!! I have been spoiled so much it almost feels like it should become a habit. This is just a quick little post to say thank you to everyone who made my birthday so very special.

To Happy – For letting me get my nails done, for my kitties, for me necklace and coasters and for the braai on Saturday - I love you!!

To Mom – For my wonderful bag of goodies – earings, bling for my handbag and all kinds of lekka stuffies!! And for my beautiful roses

To Granny – For my little teeny weeny thank you book and my little box of “reminders” and for my DVD!!

To Angel – For the beautiful post on your blog for me – it was SO special. And for my DVD!!!

To Madam – Thank you for my DVD – you are so clever to have found it and for remembering. It is SO very special and I have watched it already. I just LOVE it.

To My In-Laws – For the cream and the Mall Voucher which I used to buy the softest cuddliest winter gown, I cannot wait for it to get cold here now!

To Ouma Santjie – For my little bottle of body lotion. The Rose scent is just divine!!

To Shantelle (Doll) – For my delicious choccies and beautiful flowers – they are still flowering!

To Genny – For my beautiful Ficas. Everyone admires this plant and it looks really gorgeous in my kitchen.

To Wendy – For the iron pot stands for my counter tops and tables – I have used them already!

For everyone who came on Saturday and celebrated with me at my house, I had a wonderful time. It meant a lot to me to have you all there with me.
And everyone who sent me text messages with beautiful wishes and messages, these meant SO much. And for all the phone calls all through the day. I really had a wonderful birthday – and was all because of all the amazing, loving people in my life.

God has truly blessed me with wonderful family and friends and this is just to let you all know how very, very much I love an appreciate you all.

WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT TODAY???

2007-03-02T08:54:00.000+02:00

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY

I STAY OUTSIDE THE HALL

INSIDE SIT THE BUTTERFLIES

FOR THE BUTTERFLY BALL

I've always wanted to sing that song on my birthday! It's an old Tanita Tikarim song.

So what will you sing to me today I wonder....

TO ME !!

HE WANTS TO BE JUST LIKE YOU

2007-02-23T12:53:00.000+02:00

To all daddy's out there with sons and little boys - this is for you:

I Want to Be Just Like You (By Phillips Craig & Dean)

He climbs in my lap for a goodnight hug

He calls me Dad and I call him Bub

With his faded old pillow and a bear named Pooh

He snuggles up close and says, "I want to be like you"

I tuck him in bed and I kiss him goodnight

Trippin' over the toys as I turn out the light

And I whisper a prayer that someday he'll see

He's got a father in God 'cause he's seen Jesus in me

*chorus:

Lord, I want to be just like You

'Cause he wants to be just like me

I want to be a holy example

For his innocent eyes to see

Help me be a living Bible,

LordThat my little boy can read

I want to be just like You

'Cause he wants to be like me

Got to admit I've got so far to go

Make so many mistakes and I'm sure that You know

Sometimes it seems no matter how hard I try

With all the pressures in life I just can't get it all right

But I'm trying so hard to learn from the best

Being patient and kind, filled with Your tenderness

'Cause I know that he'll learn from the things that he sees

And the Jesus he finds will be the Jesus in me

*chorus

Right now from where he stands I may seem mighty tall

But it's only 'cause I'm learning from the best Father of them all

*chorus:
Lord, I want to be just like You
'Cause he wants to be just like me
I want to be a holy example
For his innocent eyes to see
Help me be a living Bible,
LordThat my little boy can read
I want to be just like You
'Cause he wants to be like me

*Lord I want to be just like you

cause he wants to be like me

Dads, you are so important in your childrens lives. Very often Mom's are focused on as the most important person - but Dad's, you have the heart of God in you - a Father created by a Father!!! This song moved me to tears today and I thought that this is probably every daddy's heart - to be the best Daddy you can be. I pray that you will feel special today and know that just as we all have a Father in heaven - our fathers on earth are our first glimpses to our Father in heaven. Your little boys want to be just like you, and your little girls want to marry somebody just like you. And if you run hard after God, and love as He loves you and strive to be like Him then you will have little ones with a beautiful example to look to. If you have been uncertain what kind of example to set for your little ones - this song is a very good place to start.

God bless all Daddy's today.

TO MY BLOGGER FRIENDS!

2007-02-23T11:38:00.000+02:00

To all South African bloggers - this is for you:

And to all you other bloggers this is for you:

Some typical South African sayings - have a wonderful weekend!!!

THIS AND THAT

2007-02-21T07:45:00.000+02:00

Ok, so I am still feeling broody, and it's really not nice. The last time I felt like this my hubby got me a kitten - but now we are not allowed any pets so...
I know it will pass, but it is horrible while I feel like this. Last night I even cried because of it - poor Happy, I can't explain to him how it feels. Can anybody put Broody into words??
Anyway, enough of that silly business.

Donovan is loving school. But he has started sleep walking. He walks around and talks and comes to me in my room and tells me all sorts of mumbo jumbo stories in his sleep. I am getting very tired because of it cause I wake up every time - he doesn't.

I called his teacher and asked her about it but she says he is fine in class and is coping well. He talks alot, but that's Donovan, but he's doing well. She said that it's possible his brain isn't "switching off" when he goes to bed and so he is dreaming about his work and so on. Cause all his conversations with me in his sleep is about school work and colouring in and stuff.
I don't know how to stop it from happening, it's getting a a bit much now and I am getting more and more tired. Sometimes it happens two or three times a night. And he has even started going into Mark's room.

So what do I do? Any tips anyone? Do I give him something to make him sleep? Do I tie him to his bed? Should I put a bowl of water by his bed so that when he gets up he will stand in it and wake up? What do I do??

help..

I'M BROODY...

2007-02-19T16:38:00.000+02:00

I'm broody,

I have dreamt about having a baby TWICE

in two weeks.

I am broody and there is NOTHING I can doo about it.
I am broody, and it's horrible.

WISHING...

2007-02-19T10:40:00.000+02:00

I wish I was here......

or here....

But not here.

This is my office - I don't like my office today...

Where would you like to be today?

MY BLOG CLOUD

2007-02-19T10:37:00.000+02:00

Pretty neat hey?

THE POWERFUL NAMES OF JESUS

2007-02-15T07:31:00.000+02:00

LORD, YOU'RE HOLY (by Helen Baylor)

Lord You're Holy,
Lord You're Holy
And we lift You up
and magnify Your name (x2)

As I look around and I see
All of the works that
Your hands have made
The awesomeness of You
And how Your love will never fail
Mere words cannot express
what I feel inside
I can't describe this Holy desire
But as token of my love
This what I'll do:
I'll lift my hands and cry Holy

Lord Your Holy (So Holy)
Lord Your Holy
And we lift You up

and magnify Your name (x2)

There's not enough words
That I can say
To tell You I appreciate
All the wonderful things You've given me
Your loving Kindness, Your tender Mercies
It's my desire to praise You
And tell You how much I love You
Your worthy of all of the honor
Lord Your worthy of all of the praise

I don't know how You could love me
How You could give so much mercy
You didn't have to suffer and die for me
Way back on Calvary
But I just wanna thank You
I gotta thank you - yes I do
I just wanna thank You Lord
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Wonderful, Glorious, Holy and Righteous
Victorious, Conqueror, Triumphant and
Mighty, Healer, Deliverer, Shield and
Defense, Strong Tower and my Best Friend.
Omnipotent, Omnipresent
Soon coming King.
Alpha, Omega Lord of everything
You’re Holy Lord
Holy - is Your name

Wonderful, Glorious, Holy and Righteous

Victorious, Conqueror, Triumphant and

Mighty, Healer, Deliverer, Shield and

Defense, Strong Tower and my Best Friend

Omnipotent, Omnipresent

Soon coming King

Alpha, Omega Lord of everything

You're Holy Lord

Holy - is Your name

Holy!
Lord You’re Holy
Holy!
I've got to cry Holy!
Holy is Your Name!

The Angels cry Holy,
Holy!
Holy!
Holy is Your Name!!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

2007-02-14T07:37:00.000+02:00

How Wonderful To Have You In My Life!
How wonderful to have you in my life!

All my feelings whirl about my heart!

Perhaps I can't contain that I'm your wife;

Perhaps I don't know how or where to start.

You have me always, no matter what you do:

A gift I give my gift, joyously.

Nothing means as much to me as you;

Nothing else so fully makes me, me.

If I had everything that God could grant,

Very little there would bring me peace.

Enwrapped in you is everything I want:

Rapture, warmth, affection, sweet release.

So strong my love! So happy, sure, and strong!

A thousand thousand years would not seem long!

Reason tells me everything must end,

Yet you will always be my lover-friend.

Thank you for making my life so full of laughter and love.

You are a blessing sent from above.

I love you

And to all you bloggers out there today - HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!

AFFORDABLE VALENTINES DATES

2007-02-08T08:21:00.000+02:00

Shalee is looking for some new ideas of what to do on Valentines Day that won't cost a fortune. so I figured I would share some of the things I have done in the past for my hubby on valentines day - especially when I don't have any money.

Once I made little cards out of coloured cardboard and on each one I wrote different little messages like "I love you" (obvious one) "Your so special to me" "Thinking of you", one I kissed with lipstick and wrote "A kiss for you" etc, etc. I cannot remember what each one said, but I made quite a few and then I hid them all over so he would find them on Valentines day throughout the day. Some I hid in his cupboard so he would find it while dressing, in the bathroom cabinet for when he shaved, and I hid some in his car, in the visor, cubbyhole, the compartment where he keeps his wallet and one was behind his cell phone "hands free" plug in thingy. He kept finding little cards that let him know how much I loved him.

Another time I prepared a little box full of love letters, movie tickets, photos, receipts and things from when we dated and sent him on a little trip down memory lane. That was fun.

And another time all I did was get the kids all sent off somewhere and I made a romantic dinner with candles and a bit of wine and soft music playing and I was waiting for him in something pretty when he came home from work.

So there are only SIX days left till Valentines day - hope you are feeling inspired!! Click on the link above and join the fun and share some of your ideas too!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BLOGGIE!!

2007-02-07T08:12:00.000+02:00

TODAY MY BLOG IS 1 YEAR OLD!!

I love blogging and I especially love the amazing women I have come into contact with. I remember when I started out I was a little intimidated by all the other amazing blogs out there and the beautiful templates and I felt that mine was not quite going tomeasure up - but after a year I am proud of my blog, and of myself.

Thank you to everyone who visits and comments - YOU are the ones who make my blogging so exciting and so meaningful.

mmmmwaaa!!

Now, on a completely different note...

I was going to save this for another post - but I decided it could not wait till then. I watched a movie last night and it was absolutely amazing. It is called Faith Like Potatoes and it is a South African movie. But let me tell you it is a MUST see. If you have not seen it then you really have to get it and watch it. I took this off the web site for the movie:

Frank Rautenbach leads a strong cast as Angus Buchan, a Zambian farmer of Scottish heritage, who leaves his farm in the midst of political unrest and racially charged land reclaims and travels south with his family to start a better life in KwaZulu Natal, South Africa. With nothing more than a caravan on a patch of land, and help from his foreman, Simeon Bhengu, the Buchan family struggle to settle in a new country. Faced with ever mounting challenges, hardships and personal turmoil, Angus quickly spirals down into a life consumed by anger, fear and destruction. Based on the inspiring true story by Angus Buchan the book was adapted for the big screen by Regardt van den Bergh and weaves together the moving life journey of a man who, like his potatoes, grows his faith, unseen until the harvest.
Angus Buchan wrote and published the book “Faith like Potatoes” in 1998 which continues to touch people from all age groups, social groups, background and cultures as is evident by its continued sales and the number of emails, faxes and letters Angus receives from readers on a daily basis. Angus and his wife, Jill continue to live on their farm 'Shalom' in KwaZulu Natal, where they are actively involved in the community, serving as a fantastic working model for any African farm. They run a Children’s Home for abandoned or orphaned children on the farm, a project that has been going for over ten years and they oversee the running of a 200-pupil school that is situated nearby.

You have to do yourselves a favour and watch this movie. Your life will be indelibly changed forever. I know mine has, it is available on the internet if you want to order it. I recommend it strongly.

THE BOYS AND THEIR MOM

2007-02-05T16:48:00.000+02:00

Mark and Sean's mom, came through for Marks birthday. She lives much closer now than she did and can just drive through at anytime. It is about an hours drive - but that's MUCH better than 6 hours!!

Mark had a wonderful birthday - thank you everyone for your wishes, I showed them to him.

He got lots of money for his birthday and bought a playstation game.

So this is just a quickie from me before I go home.

Hope you all had a good weekend!!

BYE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK!!

2007-02-02T12:45:00.000+02:00

MARK

Sunday is Mark's birthday. He is turning 14!! I can almost not believe it. When Happy and I got married he was five years old - only just. It has been such a privilege for me to watch him grow up and to be part of his life as his step mother.

I am proud of the young man you have grown into Mark. And though at times we have our ups and downs and I have a coupla melt downs now and then, I want you never to forget how much I love you. You are "my oldest child" and you are precious. I look forward to seeing you become a strong young man in both mind and body.

Always stay close to God and allow Him to lead and guide you through your life. Talk to Him regularly and seek His will in your life and you will receive blessings that your storehouse will not be able to hold.

Happy Birthday Dude!

I love you!!

BECOME LESS TO BECOME MORE

2007-02-01T10:40:00.000+02:00

Have you ever noticed that living a Christian life is completely opposite to how the world lives? God has been pointing these things out to me more and more lately.

For example
John 3:30 says: "I must decrease so that He can increase"

and

Mark 9 v 35 says: And he sat down and called the twelve. And he said to them,
"If anyone would be first, he must be last of all and servant of all."

And I have come to the realisation that in order to be filled completely with His Spirit I must be empty of all other things. You cannot completely fill a glass with water if there is something inside the glass - if the glass is empty it can be completely filled to overflowing.

And of course: Blood that washes white as snow. All of this is completely opposite to what the world tells us. When you are living in the world you want to be first and be served, you want to increase and become greater and better and you try to fill your heart with all kinds of things to try and compensate for the emptiness and the longing you feel within you. You want all the glory and the praise when good things happen. We seek worldly approval and acceptance.

How blessed are those who live as the Bible says, this was after all how Jesus lived. He came to serve and not be served. He came to seek and save the lost and when He went to the cross it was not for His own glory but for God’s and for our sins.

How can you be filled to overflowing with His Spirit? By emptying your heart of everything. Of self, of past hurts, of guilt, of regret, of false idols – anything that will not bear the fruit of the Spirit. Allow Him to fill you and push out all those things that are taking up residence in your heart. When you do this you will find yourself giving Him all the glory when things happen, you will find yourself longing to be humble and you will find yourself desiring a servant heart. You will want everyone to know what God is doing in your life and you will want Him to be honoured for it.
Allow Him to increase in your life so that you can be used by Him. Become humble and allow Him to work through you so that anything He does through you will bring HIM glory not you. Begin to live your life in such a way that every word, every action every deed will bring glory and honor to Him.

It is difficult – but once you begin to allow Him to become more you will see the fruits of your faith. And you will run hard after Him and long to do His will.

I hope this message is coming through - I feel like I am battling to find the words... it is what has been on my heart and I hope, no I pray I have expressed it clearly and that my heart is coming through here.

SEEKING FORGIVENESS...

2007-01-31T10:03:00.000+02:00

Has God ever convicted you about the wrongs you have done to others in your past? Well, he did convict me. Not so long ago either. I had been carrying around really heavy burdens of guilt and shame of things I had done to people in my life. Things that I had asked God to forgive me for – but that I needed to forgive myself for too.

One day in a time of prayer God told me that I should seek these people out and tell them how sorry I was for having caused them pain or heartache of any kind – even if it was something small and insignificant to them. I was terrified, it meant facing all the people I had ever hurt – at least all that I could get into contact with, and beg their forgiveness. Well, I put it off and put it off but I could not escape God’s urging to do this so that I could be free of my guilt.

Finally one day at work I decided it was time. I sat down and typed out letters to a few people – these people, among others included my sisters and my husband's ex-wife. You see he and I had an affair after his marriage had fallen apart and they got divorced because of it. I was not living Christ’s life for me and I had backslidden right down into the gutter and I was determined to do things my way. I did exactly that and I caused a lot of pain and bitterness.

This is very hard…

My husband’s ex-wife and I have gotten on okay all these years. We both just decided that we didn’t want the children getting stuck in a horrible tug of war between bitter parents. But I was battling and struggling with guilt and regret. I wrote her letter to her in December 2005 and when the boys went down to visit her I sent it with them to her. I have never told anyone this because I don’t want it to seem like I am trying to bang my own drum. It was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do – but obedience to God brings freedom. Even typing this post is very hard – but I have been putting this off too – and God has been prompting me to share this testimony because when we share our testimony’s of the good things God is doing in our lives we bring encouragement to one another. So here it is. You see I was SO blessed in the responses I got from all my letters – not one person denied me forgiveness. NOT ONE!

If God is busy working through a process in your life - listen to His promptings and be obedient. It may at times seem hard and impossible to do, but He will bring you through it and He will be able to use you even more powerfully because of it.

If there is anybody out there dealing with guilt and regret bring it to Jesus and lay it down at His feet. He may not deal with you in the same way He dealt with me – but He will carry your burden for you.

Have a blessed Wednesday

LOSS OF A PRECIOUS FRIEND

2007-01-30T09:11:00.000+02:00

Today is a sad day for my little sister.

Madam, my heart just breaks for you today and I wish I was with you right now where you are. I pray that God will comfort you in this time of sadness and loss. M was one of the most beautiful people I had met in a long time - and even though he was sick he never let it get in the way of life. Your life is richer because he was a part of it, and his friendship and love will always be alive in your heart. I love you.

Madam sent this out in an e-mail message this morning:

Hello all,
This morning, a very very very very dear friend and forever blood brother of mine passed away. He was so very close to my heart and I loved him just like I would a brother. We saw him through his struggles when his heart condition first started, saw him get stronger, then weaker, then super strong again.
We spent super special times together, and he will live on in my heart and memories as one of the best friends a girl could have.
Although I have not had contact with him for a while now, his memory lives on as strong as what it would have been if I saw him every day.
One of my fondest memories was when in his weak state he picked up his guitar and played for me at my wedding.
Our very special and loving freind, M, we love you and we will miss you so very much. The world could do with more people like him.
This is from me to M and his family

GOD'S GARDEN
(Author Unknown)

God looked around His garden
And found an empty place.
He then looked upon the earth
And saw your tired face.

He put His arm around you
And lifted you to rest.
God's garden must be beautiful
He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering.
He knew you were in pain.
He knew that you would never
Get well on earth again.

He saw the road was getting rough,
And the hills were hard to climb.
So He closed your eyelids,
And whispered, "Peace be thine."

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you Home.

OVERWHELMING LOVE...

2007-01-26T08:32:00.000+02:00

SHADOW OF YOUR WINGS

HERE I STAND,
IN THE SHADOW OF YOUR WINGS
BRING A HUMBLE OFFERING
TO YOUR THRONE OF GRACE
WHERE YOU BECKON ME,
COME IN
AND WE’RE JOINED IN SCARED TONGUE
YOUR HEART & MINE

NO MORE WORDS
TO DESCRIBE THE WAY I FEEL
WHEN I THINK OF ALL YOU’VE DONE FOR ME
ALL I CAN SAY,

IS THAT I LOVE YOU
YES I LOVE YOU
THIS WORLD MAY FADE AWAY
BUT MY LOVE FOR YOU REMAINS
LORD I LOVE YOU
YES I LOVE YOU
WITH ALL MY HEART AND ALL MY SOUL
YES I LOVE YOU.

When this song played on the radio the other day I had been longing for such a long time after the presence of God and felt I was distant from him. I know that this song came straight from Him. I suddenly found myself swept up in his overwhelming love and was simply singing along with the words - "Lord I Love You, with all my heart and all my soul" I was moved to tears and spent most of the rest of the day just quietly worshipping him and spending time with him. I had again entered His presence I had so longed for and I was home. This song will always be special to me. My heart is joined to His and it is the most satisfying love I will ever experience.

Psa 36:7-10 How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light. Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart!

COMPLETE FORGIVENESS

2007-01-24T07:23:00.000+02:00

I realise I have spoken about forgiveness before - but I keep coming back to it because it is so vital. I think if I could sum up Christianity in one word it would be Forgiveness. It was the example set by Jesus when he died on the cross. On Sunday we heard such an excellent message from one of our elders Gerhard and I felt I had to share it.

Unforgiveness leads to bitterness which leads to bondage. To completely forgive someone may be a very difficult thing to do - but it will be the most rewarding and freeing thing you can ever do. When we forgive someone we give up our right to revenge. The bible says in Romans 12:19
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord."

Now you may be wondering "What is complete forgiveness?" The following points will help you with that:

1) Complete forgiveness is being aware of the wrongs done to you yet still forgiving that person.

2) Complete forgiveness is a choice to keep no records of the wrongs done to you.

3) Complete forgiveness is refusing to punish. This is the essence of forgiveness.

4) Complete forgiveness is not telling of the wrongs that have been done to you.

Complete forgiveness is asking God to bless those who have wronged you and asking God to keep no record of their wrongs either.

If you read the story of Joseph who was sold into slavery by his own brothers because they were jealous of him you will find a very powerful example of forgiveness. About twenty years after they did this and Joseph had been promoted to some one with the stature of a president today, his brothers came to Egypt to beg for food because the famine had left them with nothing. Joseph's brothers believed that the famine was their punishment for selling their brother into slavery (Gen 42:21). And when they stood before Joseph and he finally revealed who he was to them, he was not bitter and he in fact told them that it was God who had sent him ahead of them so that he would be able to store up food for them for the famine - when all the time it was his brothers who sold him into slavery(Gen 45 v 1 - 15). That is amazing!! I am sure his brothers thought they were done for when they saw it was Joseph, but he wanted to embrace them and let them know that they were forgiven. He asked about his father and did everything he could to allay their fears. In the twenty years in Egypt Joseph had learned much from God and forgiveness was one of them.

So, how do you know when have completely forgiven some one?

1) Do not let anyone know what someone has done to you. Joseph could have gone straight to his father to tell him where he had been and how he got there, but he didn't because he had forgiven his brothers.

2) Do not allow anybody to be afraid or intimidated by you because of what they have done. You know how it is when some one who had wronged you walks into the same room as you and you immediately stiffen up and bristle at them. You make that person feel afraid or intimidated.

3) You will want the person to forgive them self and not feel guilty.

4) You will let that person save face by hiding their wrong from others.

5) You will want to protect them from their greatest fears of revenge or punishment. See 1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Forgiveness IS love!!

Forgiveness is a life long process and we need to trust God that we will be able to deal with unforgiveness in our lives swiftly.

As I have said before - Unforgiveness is like a slow poison and does far more harm to your emotional self than to the one you are holding onto that unforgiveness for. And as you begin to forgive and let go of those hurts you are holding onto, you begin to feel free and your burdens become less and lighter. And once you have forgiven some one and laid the wrong they have done at His feet, asked him to forgive them and keep no record of their wrongs then that is where you leave it. Don't talk about ti again or continue to tell people what was done to you because if you do that means you have not completely forgiven that person and you still wnat them to pay for what they did. And you don't truly free yourself from the burden of unforgiveness. The bible also says that if we don't forgive others God cannot forgive us (Matt 6 v 14 & 15) and also in the prayer Jesus taught His disciples says "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" Can you see why I feel forgiveness is SO important?

Don't carry such heavy burdens in your heart. Give it all to Jesus and He will deal with it for you.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!!

2007-01-22T16:26:00.001+02:00

Look at the size of the picture frame behind her in comparison with her size! LOL

She loved this x-mas decoration bunny, it is just taller than a 30cm ruler ± 50cm tall.

She loved to lie on this blue recliner - specially if there was no one in/on it.

She also loved to cuddle and slept with me most of the time.

Sleeping on her recliner again - her favourite chair.

These are my kitty's "baby" photos. I don't have her anymore and I was only "allowed" to keep her for a year beacause when we moved, we discovered, on the day we signed our contract that there are no pets allowed. But she brought so much joy and love into my life. I will never forget her. I did forget all about these photos and this weekend I was scratching around looking for a cd and I found two discs with photos on them marked "kids and kitty". I was so happy to find these - she was such a sweet little kitty. I still miss my little Pearl, she was spoiled rotten and a real mommy's girl. Wasn't she cute?

A PRESSIE FROM BEAUTIFUL DAWN

2007-01-19T08:41:00.000+02:00

The Most Amazing Lady Ever sent Myself, Angel and NMOTB a parcel!! It was very exciting. We all went over to NMOTB's house to open it cause Dawn wanted us all together when we opened it. I couldn't wait!

There gifts for Me and all my kiddos, Angel and Damien and NMOTB and her kiddos and her friend Sean also got a pressie and Mommy Darling and my nephew Nathan. Dawn put alot of thought into each one and when we had handed them all out I felt like we should pput them all back and do it again.

The order of the photos:
The parcel!!, Each of us got something from Dawn, NMOTB with her pressie, Angel with her pressie, ME with my pressie!!

The t-shirts say "Superhero" on them. Dawn had the idea for these when I started going to gym, and I used to joke about being a superhero. She said she had an idea for me and my sisters, and so, as she got to know all of us better - she decided to get us all something. How special is she??

Dawn, you are so very special and precious to me!! This was one the most amazing things that anyone has ever done for me and my family and it means the world to me!!

Please say thanks from the heart of my bottom to DDTFM and Ross, from my boys and I.

I love you!!!

I HAVE BEEN TAGGED!!

2007-01-18T12:24:00.000+02:00

Twice in fact. And I am feeling a bit guilty for not doing them sooner. So here they are, enjoy...

The first one was from Angel:

THE GHOSTS OF 2006 PAST
1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?
I went to Bloemfontein (never been there) and was part of a HUGE choir!! (never did that)
2. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes my friend at church had a baby girl
3. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully not. I am blessed
4. What countries did you visit?
Hmpf! None.
5. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
A car….
6. What dates from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Jan 8, it was a Sunday and I was at church. After church I checked my phone and discovered my dad was in hospital with a huge neck spasm. I went cold and I just knew it was something serious. It was, but he is fine now!!
7. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, actually I was ill quite often in 2006 – not like me, but I had a tummy bug twice (I have never had that before - EVER) and I had a few colds and a bad neck spasm right in the beginning of my holiday – no, nothing as serious as my dads. LOL
8. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Madam – my younger sister. I am VERY proud of her!!
9. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Jacob Zuma – I will rather not even talk about it!
10. Where did most of your money go?
Into my kids and their schools – that’s normal though.
11. What did you get really, really excited about?
About going to Bloemfontein!!
12. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, thinner and not much richer.
13. What was your favorite TV program?
This is hard – I didn’t really have one, nothing impressed me much.
14. What was the best book you read?
“Lord, Change” by Evelyn Christenson me! And “The Visitation” by Frank Pirretti
15. Is there someone or something you missed this past year?
Yes, I missed my kitty at times.
16. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I don’t really remember doing anything for my birthday. I turned 31
17. What kept you sane?
Prayer & Faith
18. What is one new thing you'd like to accomplish this coming Year?
I’d rather not say – it’s too embarrassing
19. If you could do ONE thing this New Year and NOT get chastised by, or for it, what would you do?
Get a chocolate fountain!
20. If you could really, and actually, meet one blogger in 2007, who would you want to meet?
It would definitely be Beautiful Dawn from Dawn-unplugged

The second one was from Terri:

ALPHABET MEME:
A - Available/Single or Taken?
Taken. I will be celebrating my 9th Wedding Anniversary this year!!
B - Best Friend?
Um, I think it would be my sisters and Reta and Claudie!
C - Cake or pie?
Chocolate Mousse Cake – it’s sinful!!
D - Drink Of Choice?
Alcoholic – Red wine, non alcoholic – Coffee, Coke, Oros
E – Essential Item You Use Everyday?
Shower and toothbrush.
F - Favourite Color?
Purple, pink, blue, yellow and black, though technically it’s not a colour.
G - Gummy Bears or Worms?
Gummy Bears
H - Hometown?
Pretoria, South Africa.
I - Indulgence?
Movies – I love buying and keeping my favourite movies.
J - January or February?
February – it’s the month of LOVE.
K - Kids & Their Names?
Three kids, Mark, Sean and Donovan
L - Life is Incomplete Without?
Jesus.
M - Marriage date?
11 April 1998
N - Number of Siblings?
2 sisters, one older, one younger. And one younger brother
O - Oranges or Apples?
Oranges – sweet, juicy ones.
P - Phobias/Fears?
Fear of confrontation – but I’m working on it.
Q - Favourite (movie) Quote?
"Lets go meet the giant pansies!!" (King Julian in Madagascar)
R - Reason to Smile?
My family
S - Season? Spring or Fall?
Fall. I love the temperature in the fall. Not too hot and not too cold – well, here in South Africa at least.
T - Tag 3 people?
Uuuummmm…… I’m not tagging. If you wanna do it, go for it!!
U - Unknown Fact About Me?
I love, love, love peanut butter!! I eat it out the bottle…
V - Vegetable you don’t like?
Brussels Sprouts, broccoli and cauliflower (except my mother in laws, I dunno what she does but it is always good.)
W - Worst Habit?
Chocolate – it calls my name…
X - X-rays You’ve Had?
Arms (wrist), ankles, feet, back and teeth
Y - Your Favorite Food?
Sea food, pasta and pizza
Z – Zodiac sign?
Pisces

So there you have it - two memes for the price of one!! I hope you discovered something about me that you didn't know before!

A Gentle and Quiet Spirit

ANNIVERSARY MEME

E-MAILS FROM GOD?

SPECIAL GIFTS FOR SPECIAL PEOPLE

Coca-Cola's Crappy Customer Care

Mommy Meme

TO SAY THANKS

5 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT SOUTH AFRICA

MY BLISSFUL DAY OFF!!

THOUGHT PROVOKING PICTURES

AMAZING LOVE!!!

Current Addictions

Yo what up fellas?Yo, what up Carman!Hey, have you heard of A-2-J?A to what? I’ve heard of A to Z?As in, are you A-2-J?

Let me take you to school…

Gimme a J! J, you got your JGimme an E! E, you got your EGimme an SUS! SUS, you got your SUSWhat does it spell? Jesus

What do you got? Jesus

Break it down… Jesus

J-J-Jesus…

Stand tall (stand tall)Stand strong (stand strong)Sing it loud (say it loud)Sing it looooooongBust the Devil (bust him up)Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Addiction, you know everybody’s gotFrom top to the very bottom of the listSo come get you fix on addiction,You don't wanna miss to Christ who paid the priceDied on the cross as a sacrifice for our sin,

so I'll say it again - Me and my boys are addicted to HimPraise him, praise him, praise himGO! Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him

GO! Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him

GO! Praise the Lord with your feet (x2)Stand tall (stand tall)Stand strong (stand strong)Sing it loud (say it loud)Sing it looooooongBust the Devil (bust him up)Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Get alive with God...

Stand tall (stand tall)Stand strong (stand strong)Sing it loud (say it loud)Sing it looooooongBust the Devil (bust him up)Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

DON'T MESS WITH THIS MAMMA; I HAVE JESUS IN MY CORNER!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

MY HUSBAND – THE Plumbers ARSE!!!

Invincible Poopie

THIS IS MY PRAYER FOR MY SON

ANYTHING BOYS CAN DO, GIRLS CAN DO BETTER!!!

GOT A FIZZ IN YOUR FOOT?

IT'S THE WEEKEEEEEEEEEEEND BABY!!

HE RAN INTO MY FIST!!

OK. SO, PLANS FOR THE NEW YEAR...

2008 IS HERE AT LAST

HE LOVES ME. HE REALLY, REALLY LOVES ME!!

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!!!

RUGBY WORLD CUP FEVER

RUGBY WORLD CUP

WHERE HAVE I BEEN...

PREPARATION & PERSEVERANCE

WHO COULD HAVE IMAGINED?

WHERE IS YOUR HOLY SPIRIT DOVE?

MY HOPE

A HEART ABLAZE

WISDOM AND REVELATION

GOD USES EVERY SITUATION TO HIS GLORY

WE SPEAK TO NATIONS - or do we...??

FINDING PEACE

YAY! A BOOK GIVE AWAY!

BE THOU MY VISION

HIS PRESENCE

THE HARDEST THING

BRRRRRRRR

I ROCK!!!

THIS IS MY VERSION OF ME!! LOL!!

THIS IS FOR YOU ANGEL

THANK YOU

GIANT SLAYER

YOU'RE MY LITTLE GIRL

YOU WERE THERE...

VICTORY - BY THE POWER OF JESUS' NAME!

HE IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL

MY MOM...

TAGGED FOR 7 THINGS

MY RIGHTEOSNESS IS AS FILTHY RAGS

WHAT IS THE WORLD GOING TO DO

ARE YOU READY?

I SURRENDER...

I WANNA BE USED BY YOU….

A CLEAN HEART AND A RIGHT SPIRIT

IMAGINE HAVING TEA WITH JESUS

AN AWARD - FOR ME!!!

SUNDAY'S ON THE WAY...

THIS BLOOD...

FORCES OF NATURE

STILL AROUND

HOLD ON!!!

THANK YOU!!!

Yo what up fellas?
Yo, what up Carman!
Hey, have you heard of A-2-J?
A to what? I’ve heard of A to Z?
As in, are you A-2-J?

Gimme a J! J, you got your J
Gimme an E! E, you got your E
Gimme an SUS! SUS, you got your SUS
What does it spell? Jesus

Stand tall (stand tall)
Stand strong (stand strong)
Sing it loud (say it loud)
Sing it looooooong
Bust the Devil (bust him up)
Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Addiction, you know everybody’s got
From top to the very bottom of the list
So come get you fix on addiction,
You don't wanna miss to Christ who paid the price
Died on the cross as a sacrifice for our sin,

so I'll say it again - Me and my boys are addicted to Him

Praise him, praise him, praise him
GO! Praise Him, praise Him, praise Him

GO! Praise the Lord with your feet (x2)

Stand tall (stand tall)
Stand strong (stand strong)
Sing it loud (say it loud)
Sing it looooooong
Bust the Devil (bust him up)
Up in pieces (I said bust him up)

Stand tall (stand tall)
Stand strong (stand strong)
Sing it loud (say it loud)
Sing it looooooong
Bust the Devil (bust him up)
Up in pieces (I said bust him up)